It is all good, cleared the base check and skills test without much drama. It is one hurdle out of the way but it is only the beginning. I am extremely thankful to everyone who has been by my side. It is now time to move forward.

=)

I thought the exams were the toughest part of the training, but I was wrong. I am progressively pushed to my limits as each session demands more of me. I press on with dogged determination and I will not concede to my mental fatigue, nor to my instructor's constant pressure.

One must go through the trials of fire in order to turn into gold. In this case, there is no exception. I lean on God for the strength and wisdom for my will alone is not enough.

I am managing but I strive to go beyond. 3 consecutive days of training with barely 12 hours between sessions... I will and I must get through this.

All throughout, my heart has been restless and slightly troubled. While it has not made me lose focus, I just do not feel right. A lot remains to be seen but at this point, I am not even sure what to expect.

I happened to chance upon a couple of blogs written by cabin crew of the airline I used to work for... and spent the next one hour reading quite a few entries.

I found myself spending a little more time reading the blog of a stewardess who joined the same year I left the airline. Her entries struck a chord with me and I was reminded of myself when I worked as a stewardess for 4 years. I could relate to her thoughts and feelings and in hindsight, though it had been an interesting experience, I really do not miss the identity and the job at all. However, I am still thankful for the opportunity and how it changed me as a person.

What we choose to do for a living can really impact our personal lives and in many cases, our jobs become an occupational hazard. I was reminded of the private pain and struggles that I used to have and I hope, with all my heart, that I would be spared from all of that now.

I am just glad I will get to come home everyday, albeit at odd hours. It is not going to be easy to balance my work and personal life but I am going to try my very best.

Something as simple as adjusting the armrest and making sure my forearm is resting securely on it during the flare makes a world of difference. I must make sure I get what I want when I am in control and whatever I changed gave me the result that I wanted.

I am happy with the progress and I must continue to keep this up. Today, I sat for the final type exam with the aviation authority. It was much easier compared to the JAA type and performance exams I sat for, but nevertheless, I am glad I am finally done with all of them.

I knew that when I chose to step into this industry, I will have to prove myself over and over and over again. Today was no exception.

Yes, I do concur that I need to improve on one area but I have made progress since the first session, that was acknowledged during the feedback I got. However, it can always be better. I took the criticisms positively and told the person concerned that I will show him, because I know I can. So I had better damn well do it.

The fighting spirit has been unleashed and I will rise up to the challenge. I will conquer that bitch, sans autopilot, if it is the last thing I do. Steely determination, it is good to have you back.

I have just completed the last day of my ground school, having survived 2 progress tests in the space of 2 weeks. Then, it is another round of slogging for the technical type and performance exams next week, and a final exam with the aviation authority mid August.

Training-wise, it is all good so far and I have already started on the simulator sessions. I cannot wait to get the exams out of the way as the studying is interfering with my preparations for the sims. I barely have the time and the mental capacity to consolidate whatever I have learnt since it is quite full on. I am knackered after every session as there is just so much information to process and the mind is constantly working on overdrive to keep ahead of the aircraft.

My first paycheck from the company came in last week and it made me smile for it signals a big change in my life. For once in a very long time, I am finally experiencing financial freedom and it feels good. Despite my recent pain and all the struggles I have gone through to get here, I know God has blessed me in many ways and I am extremely grateful. In the end, it will all be ok, if it is not ok, it is not the end.

I welcome the short break, even if it is only for 2 days. The days off afford me the time I need to catch up with reading the FCOMs (which I am a little behind), and to study for the progress test tomorrow.

My brain is saturated and I am not sure just how much I have managed to retain. I do have a pretty good understanding of the systems in general, but not enough for me to be comfortable. The test is no walk in the park.

Still, I am not as bewildered as I have imagined I would be. I have managed to keep pace and hold my own so far, only because I am working as hard as anyone else and that I actually love what I am doing now. That makes the difference.

It is back to the books now. Another intense week ahead.

Tomorrow marks the start of a gruelling 6 weeks of training. Though I have been counting down to this day, I am filled with a certain sense of apprehension as I know that I will now be contending with a new set of challenges. My life will change but I will do my best to make sure all my priorities still remain the same. Though I will be working hard at all the odd hours, I know that this is a job I will be happy doing for the rest of my working life.

I am extremely thankful for this opportunity and I am glad to be able to share it with my family, the love of my life and all the people who matter. From hereon, all my efforts will be focused on being good at what I do and channeling this renewed sense of purpose to work towards a better future.

The wait is finally over. Yesterday, I signed the contract to the job of my dreams and I know that from now on, my life will change. God's plan is indeed perfect and I really cannot ask for more.

It was all worth it.

Glad that I did not have to lose something to make me realize what I have.