Today, seated two rows down from me, I saw a young guy cry during the worship and prayer session. He was bowed down in deep prayer and sobbing away. I was very struck by the whole scene and I spent the most part of the sermon, just looking at him.

The last time I cried like that was last year and it feels good to be able to release pent up emotions. There are still times that I walk around with a knot in my heart that can only be unravelled with tears that no longer come readily.

It was weird, but I could feel this stranger's pain. Perhaps, it was a reflection of my own hidden pain that I have not yet acknowledged.

On a much lighter note, I am really looking forward to something and I am going to enjoy the moment while it lasts.

Ambiguity seems to be the common theme in the lives of many people I talk to. I thought I would know better, but yet I find myself embroiled in yet another potential mess that can very well blow up in my face.

This sucks.

I do not put myself in situations I know I cannot handle. The very fine lines in the grey areas have been blurred so much that I have stopped trying to analyze and make sense what I am feeling. As much as I hate to admit it, I care more than I let on, but yet I don't question. In the months to come, it may become clearer to me, though whether it matters then, is another story altogether.

So I say, live for the moment and relish joy that life brings with expectations kept to a minimum. I take comfort in knowing I can open my heart and let myself feel and move on when it is time.

Now, I shall look forward to the unexpected surprise that has already been sprung upon me.=)

My dog was behaving strangely. Nicky followed me everywhere when I got up this morning and walked about the house. When I turned to look at him, he would sit down and look at me with the most beeseeching expression in his eyes. He did this a few times. Then I saw him wiping his ass on the floor by dragging his bottom.

Nabei, then I realized why he was looking at me like that. It was not because he suddenly became more affection, he just wanted me to wash his backside.

Bloody hilarious lah. I must be turning cuckoo coz silly things like these make me happy but at least it put a smile on my face today.

I feel like I have to drag myself to work more than usual today. One of those pms-induced moody days for me. Oh well, gotta hose Nicky's ass with water before I leave for Beijing.

It is time to put that long overdue, disappearing act into play.

Digressing from that, it is always a waiting game, but I will not be someone who waits forever, while I put everything else on hold. The small piece of news I received today does not bode very well, but it is only temporary.

Having said that, I will still go ahead. Life goes on, it will be a journey of faith.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. The tide seems to be turned to my favour, albeit slowly. Whatever it is, I will not lose sight of what is important.