What joy! My darling is getting his big break and I am so happy and excited for him! Everything is looking up and it looks set to get even better.

I am so looking forward to tomorrow!:)

Can I overcome the odds when the time comes? At the moment it is so overwhelming that it is mind-boggling just to think about it. Yet, I am not daunted, because when I look back, it hit me that I have already climbed a mountain. Damn.

Yet when I look forward, there is an even higher mountain to climb. The baby steps that I take will help get me there.

Everything is all coming together nicely. Though the new year did not start off too well for me, I made sure it did not stay that way. For what it is worth, things look set to better than ever and I am really looking forward with great excitement. Whatever the outcome, it will be for the best.

I am finally going away on a short trip after so long, just me and him. Happy days ahead!

=)

I am glad that I did not accept things as it were, just to avoid that silent battle of wills that has become quite uncomfortable. I am glad I spoke my mind because when I did, it sets so many things straight.

I am just glad that this one is different and things look set to be better than before.

My heart is open I am listening. Though I still feel that things are not quite ideal, there has been a shift in my mindset and I have decided to accept it as it is. Although it is less than perfect and it requires a lot of effort on my part not to lose my cool, I can see that this is real, with none of the grey areas that I abhor. It is still something worth treasuring, flaws and all, because I can see a future. As important as it is to me, I will not make it my whole life because it is a lot more than just that.

Which is why I am going to direct my focus on the other aspects that make up my life. At the moment, I feel like I am losing my identity unless I secure my future. It is getting to be quite a sick affair repeating myself and justifying the choices I make. I know exactly what I am doing and why, but I probably should anchor my identity on the right things.

The stage has been set, all I need to do is to perfom when the time comes.

There is a lot going on in my life right now and my heart is heavy. If only the inner battle will cease long enough for the inner harmony to take its place. A silent cry that is not meant to be heard, but only for the one above.

Perhaps my mentality and view of life belie my age or the perceived lack of life experience, but those who choose to hear what I have to share, might see a gem of wisdom that is often overlooked.

It is best I maintain my silence now and retreat into a place in my mind where I can hide, safe from the things of the world that hurt and disappoint. Though I am going through trials of my own, all I wanted to do was to be there.

So, I brought up the issue at an opportune moment today and got some things off my chest. It amused him so much that he grinning away like a Cheshire cat, enjoying the fact that I was being a bitch about it. Anyhow, he was amicable in his agreement as it is not an unreasonable request.

Like I mentioned before, the past should stay buried, I don't want to know, don't need to know and don't give a shit. Heck, why even open a can of worms at all?