There has been an interesting spin of things... unexpected no doubt, but perfect in more ways than one. The original plan I had for myself is to take a break of up to 2 months, then look for a temporary job to tide me over while I hold out for that golden opportunity.

Then a couple of days ago, I got back in touch with one of my good friends whom I have not contacted for more than 5 years. We reunited over lunch today and exchanged stories of our individual journeys which was very interesting to say the least. So much has changed, yet the old familiarity of our friendship still remains.

To cut a long story short, I was given the opportunity to work for him, just like that. The timing and the arrangement is perfect and I am pleasantly surprised. As I have no experience in this vibrant industry, I will once again, be stepping out of my comfort zone. Having said that, I am motivated and I welcome the challenge.

I will make the most out of this experience, until the time comes for me to leave and continue my original journey.

Today, I looked into the mirror and did not like the reflection of the wan and pale face staring back at me.

Since being back in Singapore for nearly a week, I have barely had the time to settle down. There is just so much to do and so much to think about that my energy is slowly ebbing away as I wear myself out.

The joy and delirium at having obtained my license has fast faded away into a distant memory as I am now faced with the harsh reality of the current situation. More on that later...

The past 1.5 years that I have spent training was the happiest period of my life and my efforts have most certainly paid off. The question is when can I savour the fruits of my labour and live my dream? My achievement is definitely not one to be underestimated, but in a world outside of aviation, what does it count for? Given the way things stand at the moment, even my 4-year stint as a stewardess is more relevant...

Now that I have left the happy bubble, how I long to return. I miss walking over to the college and preparing for my flights. I miss the smell of AVGAS and the positive sound of engines starting up. Hell, I even miss the stress of progress checks and scolding I get from my instructors when I don't perform. I miss it all.

Things are not straightforward anymore and the uncertainties are being felt across the board. I need to take stock and re-assess my limited options. Do I hold out for what I want or to settle for anything that comes along? How long do I have to wait and what should I do in the meantime? I cannot imagine doing anything else. now that I have tasted flight but I will put up with it, if it is temporary.

One thing is for sure, I will not give up and I will face the overwhelming odds with all the strength I can muster. The doors have not closed on me and I will pray for God's guidance on my next move and to give me the wisdom to make the best choices.

It is not the trials that we face that makes us stronger, but our responses in those trials. I continue to trust in the wisdom of the Lord's plan and commit everything to him.

I have done it. 17 July 2009, the day I obtained a CPL/IR on a Multi Engine. It will forever be a day of great significance for me and without a doubt, this has to be one of the greatest achievements in my life. I am coming home!

Whee!!!

Tonight I had an awesome flight...

Flashback to the last day of June, the day I finally got my progress check done and miraculously passed, with a good standard. In all honesty, I was actually less confident than I let on and in hindsight, felt that I could have done better. The fear was almost paralyzing but I held on with everything I had. The prayers soothed my frazzled nerves and I managed to keep within the tolerances. My procedures could have been more methodical but the saving grace was that I did well in the more crucial segments of the check.

What seemed like the worst case scenario for me initially turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I was dismayed but I trusted God and He delivered.

Then, I had to do 5 more sorties to prepare me for the final test. I was quite happy with how the 3 day sorties went as there was a significant improvement. The night circuits however, left much to be desired. There was not much drama on the first one but I screwed up the second one so badly that I seriously started to doubt my abilities. It was the worst sortie in my entire Baron phase and I was quite shaken. However, my instructor decided to take the leap of faith and let me sign up for the final test based on what he knows I am capable of and hope for the best. He is a good man.

Faith is indeed powerful. Today I got a call to do the night test, together with my coursemate. It was the perfect arrangement and everything was in my favour. I was not expecting to do it this soon and I was in a state of nervous excitement. Again, I commited it to God and when it was my turn to take control, I was dead calm.

It was like I was a different person and I surprised myself tonight. It was the best night circuit I have ever done to date and by a long shot. Now that the night portion is out of the way, I have to focus all my energy on the day portion of the test which will be scheduled very soon. It is the most important one of all and when I pass, it is time to go home.

The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and faith will see me through.