Saturday, November 27, 2004

Oh my god... I got a msg from my gal friend this morning... saying she's at the ROMM at that very moment, registering for her marriage! I'm so, so happy for her and I believe that the guy she is marrying is a good person. They are just perfect for each other! Their wedding won't be until March next year but I'll be applying for leave, wouldn't miss it for the world! Not if I can help it:) So many of my friends are getting married, one after another. I'll be attending another gal friend's wedding on the 12th of December.:) Cool, can't wait:) It's the perfect opportunity to see my whole bunch of friends again:)

I've just come to realize that most of my gal friends are happily attached for at least 2 years or so. Maybe we influence one another, to commit ourselves to one person, but nothing beats the feeling of loving and being loved in return.:)

Friday, November 26, 2004

Oooookie...I'm sick of coming up with titles for every single entry I post so I'm gonna do away with it from now on. A bit outta point but I like the rain, when I'm at home, that is. I'd curse and swear on any other occasion. It's raining right now and the sound of it comforts me somewhat, feeling sleepy already:) Not that I need any comforting at the mo.

Anyhoo, just a short update before I go to work tomorrow night. I've finally cleared my probation! Yay! No more 'P' plate beside my name:) With that out of the way now, I can look forward to other things. I caught The Incredibles 2 days back... awesome movie! Enjoyed it a lot even though it's kinda kiddish. However, there are certain aspects adults can identify with I guess... Just watched SAW today, did not really enjoy that movie as much coz I don't like shows with lotsa blood and gore. I was covering my ears half the time. I know it's weird but when I'm scared, I'll cover my ears instead of my eyes... It's kinda complicated with a twist at the end. I have only one thing to say, the movie is overhyped. Looking forward to watching Alexander next, that's the kinda genre of movie I really like:)

Had a steamboat dinner at Suntec City with my aunties and cousins earlier on, it's a pre-birthday celebration, sorta. It was nice catching up with my 2 cousins, we were pretty close when we were growing up... Too bad I won't be around when my cousin, Peiling has her actual birthday celebration.

Other than that, I have nothing much to add. I only have lots to say when I'm passionately infuriated. Pretty mild otherwise. Goodnight.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Reflections

Been in a thinking mood of late... more of reflecting on the past and how I can make improvments in my life. There are things that I have done that I have regretted... Although I have moved on somewhat, it doesn't mean that the past will not come back and haunt me on the days that I feel really down. Someone once told me that it is better to go ahead and do something than to regret not doing it at all. I used to agree but now I think it's crap. I mean if you know you are gonna regret doing something... why do it in the first place right? There is nothing worse than regret coz it causes guilt and it eats away at your soul. I guess true happiness can only be obtained if you are at peace with yourself... guess that explains why I am often unhappy most of the time eh? I think it makes sense.

I realized that I have changed a lot over the months. I'm not too sure what brought about the changes but I can feel them creeping into my life slowly and surely. It seems that I am now very concerned about how my actions will affect the people that I care about. Previously, all I thought about was to have fun. My heart is sinking even as I am typing this... but I guess instead of moping around and feeling sorry for myself, I am determined to be a better person. That involves weeding out the negative people and influences in my life and I WILL NOT repeat all the mistakes I have made in the past. There I've said it and I say it with utmost conviction. May I be at peace with myself now.:)

Finally going back to work after almost 2 weeks, I kid you not man... I was on standby from 8/11 to 18/11 and I was not called up for a single flight... talk about luck hehehe;p Yep! I guess my enthusiasm and positivity is waning but as usual I'll continue to do my best. Destination this time? Sydney, team flight. My buddy was taken off the flight coz she got called up for Auckland while on standby... So sad!!! :( I have not flown with her in like 2 months...

On a lighter note, I should be thankful I have people who really care about me, it's what keeps me going. You know who you all are, I'll treasure all of you always!! *hugz abd kisses* And especially to my baby, thank you for putting up with all my shit for the past 2 years and 2 months, you make my life complete... I love you so so much:) (Anyone who's reading this, please do not cringe)

Alrightie then, gotta go psyched myself up for work later on tonight. Whoopee! Go go go! Hahahha:) Later then.




Friday, November 19, 2004

Just another day

Woke up with a swollen eye this morning... seems like I'm subconsciously rubbing my eyes really hard while I'm sleeping... been happening a lot these days... wonder what's up with that?

Anyhoo, I did some light workout before going for a run... short distance though coz it was freaking hot and the sun was totally sapping up my energy. Came back and cooked lunch for myself. Man... I'm really learning to be domesticated, I hope to cook for my darling one day hehehehe;p Got ready to go to the driving centre to enrol as a private candidate. I don't know why but I always feel uncomfortable when I step into that place.:( I had to take those instant passport photos to submit with my application. Then when I was taking the picture, this driving instructor who happened to be passing by stood there to see me take the pic. Sheesh... I was so uncomfortable the pic turned out badly... my smile was like crooked... tmd. With the enrolment finally done, I went to meet my gal friends.

I met Judy and Julie at City Hall MRT:) I was so happy to see them as usual:) My baby came along to pick the 3 of us up and we ventured to Julie's house to have dinner and watch Singapore Idol together:) I ate non-stop which is bad news:( Overall, it was an evening well-spent with my favourite people with me. Sometimes the simplest things in life can bring such happiness:) I don't feel so angry anymore... hehe:) Til then...

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Zodiac & Blood Type

I stumbled upon this link which I bookmarked a long time ago. It's a short analysis of a person's character based on a combination of zodiac and blood type, pretty accurate to a certain extent:) Do try it! Here's my analysis:

Gemini & Type O, Woman

Personality:
Sometimes people criticize you for being insincere because of your 24-7 "I am happy" attitude. But the people who know you respect your willingness to help out others and leadership quality is what you show. You tend to jump into the matters too quickly because of your constant curiosity. Your smart brain allows you to deal with even the most difficult conversationalist and that is why you receive a streamline of party invitations

Love Tendency:
The love department has good news for you all the time. Your vivacious personality is directly connected to your sign and the blood type enhances it even more. You fall in love too quickly and mistake the particular relationship as being the greatest at that moment. Capriciousness is your number one enemy.

Life:
Your excellent communication skill should be credited to your speedy brain. Your work performance is at an optimum because you are able to handle simultaneous tasks at once. One thing you are not comfortable with is silence. You have to hear commotion around you or else you create it. People sometimes have difficulties keeping up with your fast pace life, so learn to slow down.

Good Match:
A-type, O-type and B-type Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra and Aquarius are the best matches for you. Anyone of these will be a plus to you because you complement each other. A-types usually admire you from far away. O-types are the comforting relationships. B-types bring the maternal instinct out of you.

Bad Match:
AB-type Virgos and AB-type Pisces should be avoided. You will tire each other out because of your differences. These partners bring bad thoughts out of you and who wants to be ultimately a terrible person?

Monday, November 15, 2004

Something to smile about...

Been feeling really crap again these days... that dreaded time of the month, PMS. Somebody just shoot me please. *sigh* However, I'm gonna do myself a favour and pull myself together and live my life with a new zest. I'm gonna get rid of all the vices in my life, It's all about total well-being. Maybe I'm gonna take up Yoga or Pilates or something... more on that later on.

Today, I woke up feeling really irritated again... Dogs kept barking. Something made me smile though. My smaller dog, Miko was a real nuisance this morning. She's the alpha female, always bossing my other dog, Nicky around even though he came first. I feel for him man... He's always so sweet and kind and gentle with her. Extremely intelligent. He understands our conversations and he looks like he's thinking most of the time. Quite unsettling since he has very 'human' eyes.

Anywayz, my mom rolled up a newspaper and pretended she wanted to whack Miko. My mom will never hit them, she just does that and whack the table just to shut my dogs up. Nicky was lying down and Miko was running all over the place, barking. He actually got up and used his body to try and shield her. Awwwwwww.... really touched my heart somehow... He's the best dog I've ever had... He's still young and healthy but I know he won't live forever... Suddenly, I feel this tugging at my heart... :(


The other love of my life, Nicky:)

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Wheee!!! I'm B-A-C-K!

Finally! I'm in high spirits again after so long!! Damn, it feels good!:) No particular reason why but I sure ain't complaining hahaha! I think I'm a lil' crazy man... my mood swings are so adverse! Anywayz... I met up with my dear friend, Nicole today! Really missed hanging out with her...:( Too bad she's so busy with work and exams these days. Hope she'll make more time for lil' ol' me:D I had my 4th driving lesson again today. Drove from Bukit Gombak to Bukit Batok Driving Centre... Shiok man! Scary though coz it was peak hour, way too many cars on the road and I'm still not used to all the gear changing and biting points and I tend to accelerate too fast! Think I gave the poor driving instructor quite a bit of stress hahahaha!;p Oh I splurged again today...:( Bought the new Levis Lady Style Jeans... Wah lau eh... it's like almost $170... God... don't know what came over me... the worst thing is... I'm not sure if I like it THAT much... hmmm...

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Thoughts... and more thoughts

Where do we find a soul mate? Or does such a thing really exist? Somehow I feel it's just impossible to find someone that totally understands... someone who'll really be there all the way... Let's just face it, most of us would want to be around people who are happy all the time. Period. Yeah, I do have friends who'll be there for me when I'm feeling lousy (which is quite often), but I can't expect them to be there for me all the time, can I? It's not fair to drag them down with me and they've all got their own lives to live...

I just came back from Brisbane, and one of complex leaders I was working with commented that I'm really cheerful and that I'm always smiling. I just told him, I may seem happy all the time but I'm not. I'm human. I can't be happy all the time, I do have my moods. There're days where I feel so totally shitty... but I force myself to be cheery and oh-so-happy for the benefit of people around me... at least they'll feel better being around someone who is seemingly happy all the time... This is not the first time I've heard these kinda comments from people... I suppose it's a good thing... but few people realize how unhappy I can really be, how drained I really am... Maybe I'm emotionally drained, it's an effort to be happy around people all the time... But when I'm around people, I'm happy coz I make the effort to be happy. Sounds contradicting doesn't it? haha:) I guess I am just someone who needs people around me... Like I mentioned earlier, people don't have to take shit from me just because I'm in one of my moods, they shouldn't have to... I know how awful it can be when people take out their frustrations on you... Can't blame them but that shouldn't be the case, ain't it?

Anyway, i think i think too much... How I wish i can surround myself in a little bubble, just me and my own little world where no one can hurt me... But it ain't happening coz I'm too in-tuned with my surroundings. Bummer...