TMD.

I have spent the last freaking 5 hours messing around with my lap top. Installing all sorts of shit and transferring files from my desk top computer to the notebook using my brother's Creative MP3 player which also doubles up as a 4GB removable hard disk.

NABEI *toot toot* (censored)

Oh, and the battery happily went flat on me while I was in the MIDST of doing everything, because I had exceeded the 3 1/2 hours of usage time.

*toot toot toot* (censored)

Being surrounded by wires and devices is so not funny at all. If I have to do this all over again, I will freaking scream. With my limited amount of IT savvy, I gave myself a crash course with a bit of my bro's help. I figured everything else on my own without an instruction manual.

Everything was in an organized mess but I knew what was doing. Cannot lah... really cannot... I don't have the patience for this. Teehee! Well, at least I got it over and done with, now all I have to do is to charge the battery when I wake up later.

Then I'll fly to Zurich and go all anal on renaming my files and making sure that they are transferred to the right folders I have designated for them.

Now, I'd better get some rest to ease my throbbing head.

I am finding it increasingly hard to curb my impatience and irritation these days. I know it is very bad, but I really cannot help it. The symptoms of that time of the month have been long-drawn and it really sucks. Just get it over and done with already lah!:(

*sigh*

For now, I shall just take deep, deep breaths whenever I feel my annoyance bubbling up. But anyhow, there have been plenty of reasons for me to smile about. Perhaps, that's what's making it all better.

=)

Behold my latest obesession. ASUS W5F.

Simply lovely! I finally got it after falling in love with it over a year ago.

I wanted to buy this baby 3 times but I each time, I stopped myself because it was just a tad too expensive. Anyhow, I ended up buying this notebook in Taipei yesterday.

It was an excellent deal because I got it $500 cheaper, that's half a grand of savings mind you. The operating system was orginally in Chinese, but the helpful staff changed the entire system to English for me. It comes with an international warranty so should it cock up on me, I can get it repaired at the service centre here in Singapore.

There are some slight differences though. The key pad has the strokes of Chinese characters on the keys, and the plug is different, it is meant for use in Taiwan. However, I got that sorted out by buying an adapter this morning so I am happily charging the battery now as I am typing this.

=)

But the instruction manual is in Chinese... but I am sure I can figure out how to use the notebook without much of a problem. It is relatively idiot-proof.

Yay! I am very happy with it!:) Well, the good things ARE worth waiting for. *wink*

This is a very interesting test indeed, very detailed too:)

Your Aura Colour is Green.

Greens are strategists. They are analytical, organizers, planners, mental, abstract, inventors of the to-do list. They can be unfeeling.

Find out what colour your aura is.

However, I must add that I am NOT unfeeling ok, just detached when I want to be. Do try it!

And here is another meaningful quote from the book I am reading:

As we evolve, we finally come to a state of detachment where we have little expectation of outcome, trusting the universe will always get things right. This happens in a way we can neither plan nor predict.

Detachment, a feeling very well... Somehow in the process of struggling to understand myself, I learnt how to detach myself emotionally from things in life which can potentially hurt me. Instead of letting myself get upset or angry, I take a step back and look on with the eyes of a third party.

I was one explosive chili padi lah, I had quite a temper. People have commented that I have mellowed down a lot and that is a good thing. If detached, anger is a tool, If attached, you become its tool. Anger is destructive.

How very true indeed. I'm off to Taipei now, will be back very soon!

Much love... Van.

So I chose to stay at home on a Saturday night. It is a nice to be home home with Mom and my two dogs for a change. I am not really in a mood to socialize tonight anyway. My head is groggy from the extended hours of low quality sleep. Remind me again not to take afternoon naps.

It's good to be back in Singapore.:)

The three of us met up again for the evening. Judy, Julz and I. I love those gals and it was nice to see the glow and smile on Judy's face again. We had a smashing good time because we were all in good spirits. I am very happy about certain events that took place today and tonight, a conversation got me wondering about a few things.

Still, I feel at peace, despite knowing for sure that I was never the one. Strangely, I did not feel as dejected as I thought I would be. What is left is this sense of deep-seated calm that I can feel resonating throughout my being. Maybe deep down, I might have known it all along...

I like something I read tonight, and I would like to share it before turning in.

In All things, there is a pattern, a rhythm.
But there would be a
state of chaos and insanity
prevalent around us if we
moved against the flow of the universe.

Perhaps, I should just allow my heart and soul to go where the pull is the strongest... and then pray and have faith that it will turn out to be the best. Then, there would be no regrets.

Tonight, I will pray with all my heart.

Just a quickie before I start getting ready to go out. Long day ahead today.

Got in from Perth last night and was up at 8am this morning. I finally wrote and sent my explanation letter for reporting late for pre-flight briefing. The e-mail server cocked up and I had to draft everything all over again. TMD.

The world is freaking getting smaller and smaller. One of the stewardess on my Perth flight told me she actually saw my Friendster profile the night before. Then she got called up for my last team flight to Perth. She saw the names of the crew rostered for the flight and saw my name and started to wonder.

Turned I happened to be the very person whose profile she saw. Uncanny! And last night,I was just talking to a friend and he told me where he used to study. I remembered one of my friends, about the same age studied at the same university too. So I asked if he knows my friend. And OH MY GOD, he does! They are old friends but only keep in contact once in awhile.

Very interesting... I think I'd better go wash my mouth out with soap. I got some feedback that guys don't like girls to swear too much. Oopsie, no wonder lah...

I am very anal about certain things. Like, being particular about sentence structures, spelling, pronounciation and enunciation. If I write something wrongly, I'll rather write it all over again than to just strike off the word. The most ridiculous by far is the naming of file names, especially my MP3 files.

I went through about 900 plus songs in my computer, making sure they are all standardized, down to which words are supposed to begin with a capital letter and all that shit. How anal is that? Geez...

But my brother always cocks things up because he doesn't care. HMMPH!:(

Oh well, off to attend Nicole's doggie's birthday party now. Would love to bring Miko but my mom says no.

Nicky waddled into the study room when I got up this morning and started pounding on the piano keys. He lay right underneath the piano stool I was seating on. We have another music lover in the house!

By the way, Nicky is no duck, just a very fat Shetland Sheepdog.;p

Then, we sat down on the floor together and watched this week's episode of SG Idol which my mommy taped. He is becoming more endearing by the day... I really love him.
I can't decide with Idol I like, but I think I like Paul Twohill best. I love his originality and when he performs, he makes me sit up. I even rewind and watch it again whereas I yawn and fast forward most of the other performances hehe. And it doesn't hurt that he sings the songs I like.

Gotta go now, muakz muakz everyone.

Acid Bar was a very nice surprise. For once, I could actually just chill with a glass of wine, enjoy great music and have people leave me alone.

The ambience was just the way I like it, cosy and unpretentious, minus the sleaze. Most of the patrons are regulars and are there because they genuinely enjoy the music. I must rave about the talented two-piece band playing there tonight, they were simply awesome. The duo could do all kinds of songs! Any person who can play the guitar and use his feet to tap out the drum beats on a synthesizer at the same time deserves my absolute respect. The vocalist totally rocked, she was real, unassuming and connected with the audience.

It was the way she sang that struck me. She was not just a great singer who is performing, she was singing with a passion that came from the heart. Looking at her, I started to realize that one did not have to be drop-dead gorgeous to attract other people. Some people have this special quality that draws people and she is one of them. Sure it is definately a bonus to look good, but that quality is timeless and it is the essence of a person's core being.

Most people are too guarded these days. I felt that her ability to cast away her inhibitions and bare her soul makes her a very engaging person. Perhaps, if I express myself more through swearing, talking, writing and music, I'll be more captivating too? Teehee!;p

Kidding, I'm kidding! Hwahwahwa:)

Amsterdam was great though I did not do much this time round. Great company and lovely weather made up for everything else that was lacking, namely adventure and excitement. But I guess it is good to slow down once in awhile...

So, I ended up playing computer games for a change. I happened to see one of the tech crew playing Brood Wars and I got excited. Brood Wars!!! Brood Wars mind you!!! I was so so surprised people are still playing that game. I played Brood Wars when I was 15!!! I even belonged to a clan and at that time, there was only a handful of girls who were actively gaming. That was 8 freaking years ago! OMG, please don't remind me how time flies...

Anyhoo, he let me play and I was happily clicking away and thrashing the computer opponent flat. HAH! I could still remember all the building structures, the units and the build orders. PWOAH. It really didn't seem THAT long ago. A trip down memory lane. Oh and by the way, that's how I met Duckie, through gaming. And til today, he remains one of my closest friends.:)

Overall, I am quite pleased with myself, I hauled my ass to the gym after a 12 1/2 hour flight and ran on the treadmill for 45 minutes. Disciplined or crazy, I decide. Ok, it is just plain crazy hehe! The next day I did 65 minutes at a faster pace. Despite not running for 2 months, I did pretty ok. I was in a much more serene mood after that. I swear by it, it's my therapy for hangovers, PMS symptoms and sluggish energy levels.

I have the weekend off but no one special to spend it all with. I admit I do feel slight pangs of loneliness every now and then. Oh well, I made my choice and I will hold out, until the time is right. There is no reason to feel sorry for myself, is there?:)

At least, I have two happy, furry faces greeting me at the door with a volley of barks whenever I come home.

Be careful, I feel snappy, so sue me.

The jubilant mood I was in earlier this morning when Italy won the World Cup has long dissipated and I was in a foul mood when I woke up. PMS lah...

No, I did not wake up on the wrong side of the bed coz my bed is built-in against the wall. So there is only one fucking side I can possibly get out of bed from. Whoever came up with the expression, 'waking up on the wrong side of the bed' absolutely does not make any sense.

For the life of me, I really cannot remember why some people use the word 'soothing' to describe me. If anyway, I feel abrasive and snappy. There is always this perennial angst beneath the calm exterior and cheerful disposition that I potray.

One can only compartmentalize their feelings for so long. It is something I am good at doing but it does not solve anything. It only serves to make me get on with my life but sneakily creeps up when you are not in the mood to deal with it, especially 2 weeks before that time of the month.

Truth be told, even though things seem to be going rather well for me at the moment. I am fighting a very hard battle with my emotions and inner demons. Isn't it a scary thought? You look at someone, and he/she appears normal. What you don't know is that this person is trying to quell her darker side and he/she might be crying out for help. Most people miss it and then that person might just spiral out of control.

Sometimes you don't have to say too much, just being there and understanding is good enough. Miko does it best, all she does is just come up to me, nuzzle me and rolls over for me to rub her tummy. Something as simple as that can make you smile.

A number of good conversations and a phone call made me laugh and brought the twinkle back in my eye. Alrightie now, gotta get ready for work very soon man, Amsterdam, here I come!!!

It is a endless cycle of physical exhaustion and I am down to my very last reserves of energy. At least it is not emotional exhaustion that I have to contend with, but then again I do not really know.

At this point of time, I am very glad that I am single but on the flip side of the coin, it'd be nice to have a special someone by my side, especially on a Friday night. I have had my opportunities to remain in a long-term relationship or to get into new ones. But at the end of the day, I know they will not work out. It is always that fucking big picture we all got to look at.

I am feeling very moody and I do not feel like talking very much. I do not feeling like going out, nor do I welcome the idea of strange men coming to talk to me and my gal friend at the place we are gonna hang out.

I will try my best not to be a party pooper tonight. I will try.

There is a perfectly good excuse for all these though. It is the PMS talking.

It was no easy feat. In a nutshell, I was wasted and freaking exhuasted.

Doing a Hong Kong turn while nursing a bad hangover is so NOT funny. I met up with one of my dear gal friends for drinks and downed 5 glasses of red wine in rapid succession. We ended up having 2 US coast guards as 'bodyguards', they kept unwanted attention from other men at bay.It would be a very bad idea to mess with them anyway.

I was approached by a stranger yesterday and ended up talking to him for more than an hour. We deviated from the usual professional jazz about investments to life, dreams and relationships. He said something which really struck me and made me see some things in a totally new perspective. He said that we should choose our battles in life and that it is not necessary to win all of them, but enough so that we win the war. It was a very interesting conversation and just one of the weird encounters that has been going on in my life lately.

Please bear with me while I backtrack. The six degrees of separation is the theory that anyone on earth can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances with no more than five intermediaries. I am beginning to believe that this theory is true. I came back from Adelaide on Tuesday and I swear that most of the crew were connected some way or another. It is really uncanny. The fucking world is getting smaller.

I am very upset about something though... I noticed that Nicky's right eye is cloudy when I came back from Adelaide. My parents and I brought him to the vet yesterday and the vet confirmed my fears. Nicky has a cataract and he may be going blind in one eye. The operation will cost about 4 grand, bloody hell, more expensive than LASIK. Poor Nicky... I saw the look on his face, he knows something is wrong with him. *sigh* He has always been such a darling and he is only 4 1/2 years old and he is too young to be getting this condition. Why must this happen to him now? Must get the charming Dr. J.T to be his eye surgeon lah.

My heart is quite heavy at the moment. Dear Nicky, I will always love you, no matter what...

I got quite drunk last night. My head... My poor, poor head is spinning... and now I gotta get ready for a Hong Kong turnaround.

I will blog whatever has been on my mind when I get back tonight, can't seem to find the time to blog and all. Later then.

ITALY WON!!!!!!!!!!

BOOYAH!!!!!!! *fist pumping action*

My God... you are starting to scare me. Deja vu all over again... Don't push me anymore, just stop. Please.

And so, despite myself, I am disappointed. Yep, a gnawing disappointment that has been residing in me for some time now.

The tears threaten to spill again. Fuck, and I thought I was over it. Why? I ask myself, do I even bother and put myself through this? I can only keep up the 'oh, I'm happy and life is all good' facade for so long.

I fooled everyone, including myself. Well done.

And yet, maybe I deserve it. This time the joke's on me. I laugh at myself for being so silly but at least I can walk away with my head held up high.

Perhaps, now it is the time to go away...