Saturday, December 31, 2005

Miko is royally pissed that Nicky got to go for a walk before her today, so I am typing this entry to the tune of her indignant howls. Damn fucking cute and amusing, lol;P

So Christmas has come and gone and today is the day to usher in the New Year, 2006. Goodbye 2005, you will be missed, it has been eventful and a tad bittersweet while it lasted. I've met and gotten to know many wonderful people this year, friends who have a positive impact, whom that I know will be around for a long time.

2006 will be a year of reckoning for me. With bated breath, I anticipate myself making some major changes in my life. This will be the year that I'll finally attain some of the goals that will be personal acheivements. Then there is something bigger...

For the first time in my 22 years, I know what I want to do and I intend to go for it. This is something that I feel is right, with every bone in my body. It is funny how everything becomes brighter and clearer when you have a vision for yourself. Petty issues that used to bug me suddenly aren't issues anymore. Everything just falls into place naturally.

I won't say what I'm going for. It will be a challenge and it'll be daunting but I am going to try. I hope I will realize my secret ambition soon enough. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Life? Gotta make the best out of it, only then is it worth living for. Looking forward to what the new year brings. Wishing everyone a prosperous and meaningful New Year and may it be a fruitful and happy one for all!:)

Monday, December 26, 2005

If there was ever a day that I'd hear myself declare that I am sick of eating chocolate, today would be it.

I am gonna be ill... I have had a serious overdose of the good stuff for the past 3 days. My excuse? It's the festive season and it's that time of the month. Having said that, I have just finished eating 5 chocolate-coated digestive bicuits and in my head, I'm screaming, "No more!!!." Chocolate is poisonous to dogs for a reason...

(Note to myself: "Get a freaking grip or you'll put back the 2 kg you've lost! Nooooo.....! Argh!!!")

Anyhoo, the festive season was a nice and simple affair for me. Just the way I like it... :) My darling and I spent Christmas eve with Nicole and Botak over a steamboat dinner and red wine. And on Christmas day itself, we watched King Kong and had dinner together. Couple dates are fun, especially when we are all from the same school and get along:)

Saturday, December 24, 2005

It's been quite awhile since I last blogged. Much has been going on in my mind and I've had some issues to contend with. They are still bugging me actually but other than that, I shouldn't complain, life has been good to me.

Just got back from an agonizing 8 days' trip to New York via Frankfurt yesterday evening. I don't believe that I was ever that jet lagged and that miserable to be away from home. The freezing cold certainly added on to the gloom. I had no mood to do anything because of that. I thought I was going to lose my ears and my fingers whenever the wind blew.

And the boots I bought from Amsterdam was just not made for walking.

It was slowly killing me and every step I took after an hour brought about fresh stabs of pain. Even when I was sitting down, I was not spared. My feet were cramping so badly that I couldn't sleep on the hour-long journey back to New York, from New Jersey. Definately not a pleasant experience for me.

It snowed in Frankfurt on the 2nd day that I was there. It was quite lovely actually, to be walking in town with the snow flakes falling softly on the cheeks. The snow looked like sugar icing on all the buildings. It was beautiful and almost magical.

Coming back home to Singapore has never felt sweeter. Especially since I am coming back to a newly-renovated home. Lots of unpacking to be done but I'll do another day. Time to celebrate the festive season.

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year. May it be a joyous and memorable festive season for everyone. It's so good to be home:)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

My mind was in a tangled web of thoughts... tossed and turned about in bed all night. When I finally managed to doze off, it was time to wake up.

I was rostered to spend the whole day at the training centre for a ward gathering. There's nothing much to mention so I won't bore those reading this entry with details...

There is so much going on... not just in my life, but also the lives of people close to me, and even their friends' lives. You get the picture. It is so mind boggling sometimes. I have heard a lot. For some, there is unhappiness and dissatisfaction, while for others, it is smooth sailing and headed the right direction. Then you start thinking all over again, you start wondering and then think somemore. Same old shit. There is a lot of things that I don't mention in my blog

Tonight, I am fucking exhausted and damn mood swingy, like a rubber band stretched too thin. Nothing has happened, I just do not feel like talking and I want to be left alone. I do not want to snap at anyone, that would be bad. So please...

I do wonder, whether one should be complacent with what they have... If the answer is yes, why do I feel the way that I do whenever I miss one boat after another?

My bed beckons, tomorrow will be a better day...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I am pleased, pleased as punch in fact. Let's just say that things are going the way I want, for now. Heh. I always know that there'll be sunshine after bad episodes, especially after that shitty, fucked up night.

Sometimes, I think people need to experience something bad occasionally to remind them to appreciate the good things in life when it happens. That applies to me too.

Sun's out, maybe I'll go get a tan later if the sun is still good. Later.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

I am glad I did not allow myself to get all emotional and start screwing up my life in an attempt to self-destruct. I know better, I've been there once. Letting your emotions get the better of you is the bane of all rational thinking.

Talked things over and it is all good, for now. I'll be flying to Melbourne tomorrow morning. At least, I don't have all that emotional baggage to deal with. That would suck, big time.

To those who have expressed their concern, thank you. I am fine now.:)
Pinch me someone, for I am not sure I feel human anymore. Where is the pain I am supposed to feel? Numbed to near-oblivion.

I express myself very well, both in speech and in writing. I usually get my point and my thoughts across to people. But, I tend to bottle up my deepest feelings. The question now is, when will that bottle break?

To my friends, don't worry about me. I am not gonna slip and let my life spiral out of control. That is a promise that I will make to myself.

Fuck all this emo shit... Fuck everything.
If I had to pick the worst day of my life for this year, tonight would be it.
What seemed like a good start to my day ended in shambles.

I had a fucked up night's sleep. I guess I must have used up every shred of my patience for today's flight. Don't get me wrong, I was in my element. It was a great flight, albeit a fucking tiring one.

Then came a nasty chain of events that snowballed into a grand climax. It all started when my regular cab driver screwed up my advanced booking. I had to wait at least half an hour at the airport before I can get the cab. Now, tell me, what is the whole fucking point of a god damn advanced booking if I have to wait so freaking long for my cab? It makes absolutely no sense to me. I told him to forget it and joined the public queue.

Imagine the torture I felt. I was so fucking pissed off but I had to wear a neutral expression on my face because I was in my uniform and because like it or not, I am representing the company. So I vented my anger in my smses to my friends. I guess I must have sounded pretty violent, one of them was so worried for me, he actually called me instead. Heh.

That is the only thing I will go into detail about... some other shit happened and I snapped. I feel like another part of me has died... The initial stabs of pain that I felt initially has since subsided to a dull ache and now, I can only feel numbness.

I only allowed myself to shed a single tear. I hardly ever cry anymore and I don't intend to. But sometimes, being emotionally detached can be a big curse. I have lost something tonight... but, I'll move on.

Fuck it.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Amusing.

I was rushing down the left aisle, preparing the aircraft for take-off when this lady passenger snapped her fingers at me to get my attention.

Snapped her fingers at me. Lol:)

I admit I was quite taken aback but I calmly told her I'll attend to her after take-off. I didn't take it personally, I'm just well, amused... She didn't mean it as an insult but rather, it's something she's used to doing back home.

I hardly ever get personal anyway, makes me a much happier person. Understand that and look at things from the flip side of the coin and you'd be happy too.

Darn PMS, the bane of every female who has hit puberty. Such a bitch. Get it over and done with already...