Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Lovely... I have to work tomorrow. I got activated for a Manila night stop!! Ahhhh!:(
The only consolation is that it is short but it won't be sweet, I can tell you that much.

I went for a Pilates session at Amore Fitness today. I was so bored... I didn't feel any buzz from the workout, it was just too slow... I guess the only exercises I enjoy doing is when I get to sweat it out. 45 more sessions to use up in 8 months time, or it'll all go to waste. I don't know what the hell possessed me to sign up for 2 packages. On top of that, I'm also a member with California Fitness. Shit man, a classic case of getting things I do not need. I always end up doing that... :( Actually all I need are a pair of running shoes and it must be Asics, that's about it.

I was just talking to a friend on MSN earlier on. I quote him 'you have been through fires and been baked a bit mature'. Then he says I'm half-baked... wahahahahahhaha! I do agree, I have seriously half-baked ideas in my head sometimes. DOH:) But I thought that quote was quite a classic hehe:)

Tired, did so many things today... I just wanna crash now. Can feel a mood swing looming... See ya.
Love
You need love.
You are a pretty normal, well-rounded person
that just craves that fairy tale love where you
will be swept off your feet and live happily
ever after. Chances are that you fantasize or
dream about it so much that you either see all
the guys/girls as unromantic or you tell
yourself that anyone could be your soulmate.
You long to have someone by your side and you
want to give back on the romance part too, not
just give.


What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, May 30, 2005

There was a lot of attention on my jellyfish-scarred left hand during the flight... Everyone was asking me what happened... Some thought I got into a fight, some thought I smashed my fist through a glass pane, while some thought I cut myself. Haha:) The inflight supervisor said if the scar was on my face, I'd look like Chucky's bride...DOH!

They expressed disbelief and sympathy when I told them about my ordeal. It was an ordeal OKAY. Hmmmph! The crew couldn't believe that a sweet, young thing like me had to go through so much pain and suffering because of one faceless creature... all because I wanted to try surfing...

Sidetracking a little, I just saw my dog, Miko humping my other dog, Nicky. I have caught her doing that a few times, I should have recorded it down or something. Since when did she become such a horny bitch? Both of them are sterilized. Nicky is like the most steady male dog around... I swear. He was not even the slightest bit seduced by her. In fact, I thought he looked rather bored. hehe;p I say it's weird, men do not behave that way, especially not male dogs.

Anyway, I have been eating non-stop since I woke up this morning in Sydney til now. I had:
- 1 cup of yoghurt fruche
- 6-inch Subway honey oat sandwhich with double meat chicken fillet
- 5 small prawns off the appetizer on board
- 1 chicken breast without the skin
- 3/4 of a Mini Magnum ice-cream
- Tiramisu ice-cream with vanilla dressing
- Coke float with vanilla ice-cream
- Baked cod fish
- Some dates and apricots
- lots and lots of candy
- 3 plain crackers
- 1 Kit Kat bar
- A handful of almonds
- A small portion of fried bee hoon
- A few spoonfuls of yoghurt ice-cream
- Fish soup
- 1 cake made from rice flour

Oh DAMN! I did not realize that I ate THAT much. FIAK!!!. It is freaking scary!:( The funny thing is, the more I eat, the slimmer I get. Maybe I am finally doing something right after all. It must be all the running that I do. This has got to stop! NOW. Will someone please control me?:(

Saturday, May 28, 2005

It is going to be cold in Sydney. I can't stand the cold, maybe I'll just hibernate in my room and think about some stuff. No more shopping for me, gotta keep a reign on my spending. I got another 2 investment policies for myself. See how it goes, I can play around with it or decide to cancel them if I wish. I got it all covered, life and accident insurance policy, endowment plan for the next 25 years, cash in bank. It's a good time to secure my future while I am still earning this kind of money for my age.

Gonna go for a slow run again before my flight... it seems to be my only solace at the moment, just my thoughts, the sound of my feet pounding on the pavementng and my Ipod.
I had a mild panic attack earlier on... don't know what is wrong with me, feeling spooked... please don't let all the madness start all over again, I don't think I can handle anymore upsets. Simplify my life, that's what I am gonna do.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Hui Ling and I redeemed ourselves from our sins after an hour long run late last night. At the rate we're going, we're gonna look really good, if only we can stop our crazy binge eating. I can't eat popiah (fresh spring rolls) even though I love it. It makes me super bloated, I was feeling so bad yesterday. Anyhoo, I woke up feeling GREAT this morning!

I even packed up my room a little, I have been procrastinating for months and months and months. My room looks like it has been hit by a tornedo. It is fucking embarrassing ok... I will never let anyone into my room if I can help it. I think I'll do it a bit at a time. I need to get new furniture too. Gonna revamp my room, I'll be happier being a more organized person. I cleared one whole big bag's worth of clothes. Now I don't know what I am going to do with them. Help!

The stupid jellyfish bite is looking slightly better today. The scar is flattening out but it is still very prominent. DIE ALL JELLYFISHES, DIE!!!

Will blog again later, need to go get some more stuff done:)

Thursday, May 26, 2005

I found out something really shocking today, having very mixed feelings... I was torn between feeling a sense of pity and regret and hate. I hate it when the people I love get hurt but at the same time, I understand the situation and why certain things has to be done. At least I'm not kept in the dark anymore and a clearer picture has emerged.

I can't believe I was actually asleep half the time when I was watching Starwars yesterday night. I hardly EVER fall asleep while watching movies. I was literally fighting a losing battle with my eyelids. Feel very bad about it now:( Ooh, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C.S Lewis is gonna be realeased sometime this year, it's a movie by the way and I simply can't wait! It rivals Lord of the Rings, I loved reading all the books in The Narnia Chronicles:)

It's another long and busy day for me again today, I barely have enough time to rest... *sigh*

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I am back!!! Oh God, I felt like I have been away for so so long... really missed everyone so much! But I am rewarded with 3 1/2 off days haha! This is the life man:)

I had to work really hard for my money, but I had fun during the layovers. A lot of drama on the flight from Tokyo to Los Angeles, there was a case of air rage and the passenger left the aircraft in handcuffs. Don't think I can elaborate more so I'll leave it at that. Shopping in Los Angeles was ok, but I heard San Francisco is a much better place for shopping. I wanted to buy some stuff from Abercrombie but the place I went to had limited designs so I didn't get anything Ended up buying underwear from Victoria's Secrets hehehe:) I already saw the designs I wanted online and I went there to try.

I spent more in Tokyo, bought something that I never dreamed that I would buy.
I bought the Nintendo DS handheld, in pearl white and at a steal. I don't think Singapore has the pearl white version, only the graphite black and silver. I may be wrong though but anyhoo I still got it cheaper! Tokyo has the Nintendo DS in pink and turqoise but it's like damn fugly heh. I bought one of the games that is only released in Japan, it's called Nintendogs. I fell in love with it when I saw it, so damn freaking cute I swear! It's about the life of a virtual puppy, something like Neopets. So cool! But there is a a huge drawback... everything is in Japanese hehe:) However, I managed to download the English manual yay!

It was a toss up between the Sony PSP and the Nintendo DS, but I bought the NDS in the end because of the games they release. No regrets! Oh and I saw the Sony PS2 in WHITE. My God, how fucking cool is that? It really looks like the Apple ibook. Damn damn nice. I would have bought it BUT it's official release is on 26th May.:( Doesn't matter, I have a new travel companion now;p

Anyway, it is great to be back, I am feeling so happy! Some stuff that has been bothering me has sorted itself out eventually:) Oh and I went for a nice long run with Hui Ling yesterday evening, 1 hour! Feeling great today! I swear exercise has benefits money can't buy. I was totally junking during the trip. Ate all sorts of rubbish and in amounts that you would balk at. I just love soba noodles! I ate all the carbo I usually try to avoid and I didn't put on weight because I exercise. It's back to the stricter diet from today onwards, I've had too many cheat days already hehe:)

Remember the fucking jellyfish? I hope they all die. The bite on my left hand just got worse and it is itching like mad. The scar is getting more prominent and it is actually raised, kinda like a keloid. The same thing happened to Nicole too. Apparently we got bitten by a poisonous one. Gonna see a doctor today. Have I mentioned how much I hate those sneaky creatures? It doesn't even have a face!

Oh well, dread getting my credit card bill heh...

Monday, May 16, 2005

I went over to Nicole's place yesterday and we went to run around the estate. Oooh... the babe taught me how to make cheesecake, it was my virgin attempt btw... I was the ever ardent observer watching the master at work. I went home and tried to do everything myself. It was successful except I forgot to add gelatine powder, but I thought it was pretty ok all the same:)

Nothing much I really wanna blog about, not really in the mood. I will be away for 7 days... doing a flight to Tokyo and then Los Angeles and back. I don't look forward to it... oh well... finally back to work after 2 weeks' leave. Will blog again when I get back, will miss all those dear to me...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Friendster Horoscope for May 14, 2005
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)


Today's Forecast

In the mood to show off? You bet you are -- and your friends will be delighted to serve as your audience. Who could ever resist being entertained by the likes of you?

The Bottom Line

That great idea? Now's the time to take it around the block. Good luck!

In Detail

Every now and then, we all need to let loose and have some fun. That's not an uncommon state of affairs for you -- after all, 'variety is the spice of life' is your sign's motto, and it didn't happen by accident. At the moment, however, you'll be even more freewheeling, optimistic and ready to play than you usually are. There's only one thing to do: Gather the troops around you and organize an absolutely unforgettable party.


What a night! Headed down to China Black, instead of Dbl O coz the queue was way too long. I mean it's like 9pm and there's already a queue??? DOH... It's a blessing in disguise though, I had a whale of a time at China Black. Lotsa eye candy, great company, more guys than girls and great RnB and Hip Hop music. Huiling, Jeannie and I went up to the platform to dance. We danced for nearly 3 hours, to me, that's what clubbing is all about, great music and dancing!;p Uh huh, uh huh. As usual, Huiling keeps attracting the guys wahahahahhaha! Luckily, we were safely up the platform, but that didn't deter one of them;p

Ice water was our poison for the night. Can you believe it? Ice water? Hahahahaha, I drank red wine after that though. So we were all very, very sweaty but sober. There was this guy who came up to the platform to dance and he did a 'merlion', as in he puked all over, think kenna someone standing below... I saw it all happen. EWWWWWWwwwwwwwwWWWWWWWW!

A few of my other friends came to look for me outside China Black, good to see them again, as always:) One of them couldn't enter coz he didn't bring his passport. He had no problem getting into Zouk but the door bitch at China Black won't let him in. She was really quite a bitch man, but I like her style and she was just doing her job really well.

A night of mixed feelings again but hey, it is all good. Live life the best way you can.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Sheer coincidence? I think Friendster's daily horoscope is eeriely accurate, of course I don't live my life based on daily forecasts but it's interesting if whatever happened during the day coincides with it.


Friendster Horoscope for May 13, 2005
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)


Today's Forecast

Congratulations. You've just been awarded the trust and respect of a certain higher-up who's known for being extremely picky about that sort of thing. Now go do some celebrating. You've earned this.

The Bottom Line

Make a list -- pros and cons, to-do, whatever. Then stick with it until it's done.

In Detail

There's no time like the present to give yourself a little pat on the back. You're not usually prone to that sort of thing, but your friends will be downright insistent that you at least do some celebrating, so you might as well give in. Of course, they'll also want to be invited along for the ride -- and why not? What fun would a celebration be without a whole pack of fans to provide you with the applause you know you deserve?


Oh and I got this mood analysis link off Jess's blog, I think it pretty much describes my life right now, pretty impressive.

You are constantly trying to make a favorable impression and endeavoring to be considered as that someone 'special'. You are pretty good at using various tactics and strategies that give the impression that you are in control. Maybe you are - but you are constantly watching to see whether or not your endeavors are truly appreciated. Be careful... just as 'you' may be endeavoring to influence others, 'they' may indeed be influencing you.

Which ever way you turn you feel that you are being utterly thwarted. There is considerable conflict in the air but you will stick to your beliefs and not be deterred in endeavouring to attain your objectives.

You are a very choosy person - demanding and exacting in your emotional demands and very particular in your choice of partner. You are self-sufficient and as a result of this overbearing nature you find it difficult to establish any depth of deep physical or mental involvement with members of the opposite sex.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realize all your ambitions.


Well, enough of forecasts, analysis and predictions for now. Let's talk about yesterday. It was a long, long day.

I met up with Sabrina, who used to be from Nanyang Polytechnic, she's with Prudential now and I wanted to know more about financial planning and investment. We were only mere acquaintences back in school so we did not get to talk much. Anyhoo, we met up at Raffles Place for lunch and ended up talking for over an hour. Bottom line is, people in general tend to have a certain perception of me when I don't open my mouth to talk or if they see me from afar. Once, they get to talk to me face to face, their final perception of me is totally different. It is almost always the case. However, people tend to be more forgiving when they have a negative impression of you initially and change their opinion later than when it's the other way round.

While Sabrina and I were walking to Burger King, this fair Indian guy in business attire suddenly came up to me and asked if I was at Hyatt Hotel a few days back. I told him he must have mistaken me for someone else. To cut things short, he wanted my contact number but I took his namecard instead.

Went to Wala Wala at Holland Village for dinner and met Hui Ling at Thumper. We were waiting for my friend to go down to Onyx. We were standing at the bar when two men came to talk to us. Must be that Hui Ling lah, attracting all that men and dragging me into it hahaha:) I was feeling damn anti-social, didn't feel like entertaining them but I did so, out of politeness. I am only rude if someone pisses the hell out of me.

We headed down to Velvet after that coz Onyx was not open. Again, the good looking charms of Hui Ling snared the attention of this Caucasion so had to make small talk again. He was pretty impressive though, he could speak better Chinese than me can? I felt so god damn ashamed of myself. I believe he could survive a flight to Bei Jing, unscathed. That is, if he doesn't have a nit-picking, petty crew-in-charge breathing down your neck...

We headed down to Happy, damn cool place and great decor but the music can be better heh. I wasn't really in the mood to party anyway so i was pretty quiet. I'm experiencing conflicting emotions now. Matters of the heart. Should I or should I not? Sometimes it's better to just fuck it lah and not think so much. But on the other hand, may not be so wise. As Judy put it so simply, if you fall, just pick yourself up again. I love that gal man... she's definately one of my positive influences:)

Heading down to Dbl O tonight to celebrate Jeannie's birthday. Hope the music's worth dancing to, update later!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

The anti-social tendencies sets in again... hopefully, they'll pass as the day plods along. Lots to do today and tomorrow. Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to do too much, but it's nice having things to do, better than wallowing at home. Subconciously, I am keeping myself busy so that I don't think too much, good strategy, but very tiring.

Don't feel like saying much today coz all the things I wanna rant about are too personal to say so I'll just leave it at that. Bought 5 pairs of shoes at one go yesterday? Madness? Maybe... Just felt like it, anyway they were very affordable and I got a discount card so it's not a big deal. Maybe I should consider carrying an extra pair of slippers with me wherever I go for back-up. Met my aunties and cousins for dinner at Phoenix Hotel last night. Mother-daughter combos. Good to see them again as it has been quite awhile. Felt detached most of the time, I was in my own world and I had nothing to say, or rather, I just did not feel like talking.

My cousin, Pei Ling said she thought I had a henna tattoo encircling my fingers when she saw the jellyfish sting... it really looks like it hehe:) It is much much better now though...

And I still hate jellyfishes...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I woke up this morning and ran for a 20 min run on an empty stomach... I was running at 82% of my maximum heart rate... Short and effective workout at a higher intensity level. Great when you have too many things to do but want your daily exercise.

Anyway, this entry is not about the merits of a healthier lifestyle, it's another one of those 'I don't believe this is happening to me' entries... Anyhoo, I made and appointment for a facial... as usual it was raining so I had to take a longer route to the beauty salon.

I must emphasize this. I hate it to rain and I hate carrying an umbrella. After the Bintan trip, I hate the rain with even more vengence, coz the rain brings nasty jellyfishes closer to the shore where they can attack unsuspecting people and cause them immense pain. I don't wanna sound like an ungrateful bitch... I know people in other parts of the world are just praying and praying for rain and not getting any while here I am in good ol' Singapore, getting plenty of rain and hating it.

So i was walking as quickly as I can in the rain, among the HDB blocks when my sandals gave way. There was no way I could continue walking in them coz the front part of it just tore open. I had to remove the heels and run barefoot to a void deck. I was cursing and swearing under my breath and contemplating what to do next. No one could come to my rescue and I was too far away from the shopping centres to get a new pair. I was practically stranded man... God damn it! Felt helpless, but only for awhile. I decided to run out to the main road, heels in one hand and barefoot and try and get a cab. I didn't have to run very far coz a cab came out of nowhere and stopped for me.

Let me tell you, this is deja vu man... the exact same thing happened to me not too long ago... Except the first time, I was in Chinatown. Fucking embarrassed can... Lesson learnt: Never get sandals where the front part are two pieces of leather sewn over a metal piece in the centre. I reached the beauty salon and it's such a coincidence that they had a pair of nice heels, my size and matching my outfit. They belong to the lady boss's niece and they let me borrow it. Damn lucky man... but wah lau... don't wanna go through that ordeal again. Sheeeeesh...

The day ended well though, had a nice, long relaxing facial and I met up with Hui Ling for dinner and shopping. She was great company as always:) Overall, the day ended pleasantly, may tomorrow be a better day...

Monday, May 09, 2005

I swear I'm on a roll here, I swear. Being sarcastic of course. I can't help but think that the movie Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events is a really apt reflection of my life for the past few days... For easier reading, i'll list them in point form and segment this entry into 2 categories, 'The Pleasant' and 'The Unpleasant'.


The Pleasant:)

- I still look and feel good about myself hehehe:)

- The friends I have around me are just great!;)They are my pillars of strength. Without them I'd have few reasons to smile... (You know who you all are)

- My family, plus the two lil' shits Nicky and Miko, love them all very much and very thankful for them.

- I seem to be getting my momentum back for piano:)

- The Bintan trip was not so bad coz I had great company, the lovely babe, Nicole, what would I do without her hehehe:) If you're reading this babe, love ya gal! *muakz muakz*

- Nicole and I went crazy and we BINGED, totally binged. Ate like pigs gone nuts. The amount we ate would have put most guys to shame hehe:) BUT, managed to remain as I am coz of the workouts I have been doing, heng ar...

- MAIN HIGHLIGHT: I STOOD UP ON THE SURFBOARD!!!!! YEEAAH!!!! A few times at that, HAH;p The exhileration I felt when I managed that was just out of this world! I tried surfing when I was in Bintan. Mind you, I used to hate watersports coz I can't freaking swim to save my life, I hate the sand and saltwater and getting my hair wet. I see a new and expensive hobby looming in the near future:)


The Unpleasant:(


*Wah lau... This is list is rather long.... Here goes....

- Still very worried about the things that have been going on around me. Judy fell and fractured her wrist, just had a successful op and she is still in pain... Poor babe, wish I can do more, really wish I could. My friend is so strong despite going though so much, I must learn from her. In the meantime, I'll pray very hard that she recovers quickly...

- I fucking failed my driving... I know it's common for most people to pass only on their 2nd time but fuck! I was damn unlucky... I wasn't nervous or anything but it was pouring cats and dogs. Guess what? This is the first time I am driving in the rain man, let alone in such a storm... when I go for lessons, it is always so bright and sunny, when I go for my test, it storms. TMD. I believe it affected my performance coz I can't freaking see... The tester happens to be the strictest and most unpleasant of the lot. WAH KAOZ... Damn it! At least I had no immediate failures, just that the points deducted was more than what was required for passing. Oh well... The next test date is in July, so I don't have to wait for too long...

- Everytime, I am on a holiday, I have the monthly torture for ladies, I mean wtf? It just plain sucks... My biological clock is seriously screwed up and so am I.

- I can send out but I cannot receive a single msg when i was in Bintan:(

- The trip was great except for one thing, it was raining most of the time. Yep, raining. There was no sun so we can't tan, we can't go snorkelling and we can't wakeboard coz the sea was too choppy... We stayed in the room and talked most of the time and ate, and ate and ate rubbish. There was no room service nor hot water, DOH.

- We had to spend some time wrestling with the blinds of the window shades coz the shades got jammed and people could look in and see us, credit goes to yours truly, and Nicole fixed the toilet flush when it got disconnected wahahahahhaa;p

- CLASSIC: When Nicole and I finally got to do some surfing and when we were happy and laughing and about to leave the sea, she suddenly exclaimed that she got electrocuted. Then I felt it too... it was so bloody painful, like electricity zapping through your skin. I was in mild shock and the fingers on my left hand were fast becoming swollen. We got attacked by god damn jellyfishes! Jellyfishes! Fucking hell! It was so unexpected and no one warned us. A nice going-home pressie... ironic in many senses... I cried, so weird that I cried when I got stung by a jellyfish when I didn't cry when so much has been going on around me... It's overwhelming... My hand is still swollen anyway, but much better now. it was like red, swollen and had white welts where the tentacles clung to the skin. There was no doctor or pharmacy immediately available or nearby so we took the last ferry back... Poor, poor Vanny and Nicky, we're such babies...

I just found out something that really disappointed me, now I know I am still capable of feeling hurt when I thought my heart is dead. Promises, MY ASS. Don't ever FUCKING promise me ANYTHING, if you can't keep it. Now go fuck your own god damn sorry arse and die.

Really... can things get any worse? I can only wonder...

Thursday, May 05, 2005

As it is with me, when I'm really happy one day, the next day, something not so good happens and I'd get upset all over again. Such is my story. I certainly hope it is not some self-fulfilling prophecy...

I'm in a fucking foul mood again today, I'm frustrated, damn worried and I just don't feel like talking. PMS symptoms for 3 weeks now but it has yet to be over. Starting to bloat again, just when I'm about to leave for Bintan with Nicole over the weekend... I have a dreaded feeling however, that I'm gonna get it when I'm there... The same thing happened to me during the trip to Bangkok. What a freaking bummer... Somehow when that happens, the quality of the getaway is affected. Why, why, why, why and why does so many things have to bug me now? All that worrying about the people around me... sometimes I feel it's not fair that i have so much to worry about at this tender young age... but I am not someone who doesn't care coz I am simply not like that. I cannot help it.

I have my practical driving test tmr... if I drive like I usually do, I should pass... Oh God, please don't let me cock this up.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I am keeping myself happily occupied these days, pumping up those endorphins with regular sessions at the gym with Nicole and running with Hui Ling late at night, amidst other things of course.

Suddenly, I have all this energy to tackle whatever I couldn't in the past, working on accomplishing much more. Yet, my life is still incomplete.

Oh well, happy enough for now, that's more than I can ask for:)