Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I will never fuck around with my hair again. Next time, I'll just pay to have my hair trimmed. No more trying to be an itchy smartass and DIY. If you have just paid $180 for hair extensions, you'd definately agree that is a wiser thing to do.

Yep, it was THAT bad.

And I don't have the patience to wait for my fringe to grow to an acceptable length. I have had enough of gelling and pinning up my fringe!

It was a very expensive rectification process. Lesson learnt. Nabei lah, I have done it once again.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I received a text message last night. The words wrenched my heart and the fleeting pain that I felt was quite raw. Now, I am confused despite myself.

I am suddenly shaken. My friend says she does not understand how I can give up something everyone wants. The words haunt me somehow...

I was able to detach myself emotionally again today on another seperate issue. I remain a mystery to some people because I don't always reveal my true emotions.

What am I to do now? I really, really wonder.
I must have been possessed because I did something very silly today. My fringe was getting into my eyes so I took a pair of scissors, pulled my fringe down and literally sawed away at my hair.

Then I let go of the fringe and it sprang up to 2cm above my eyebrows.

Bloody hell. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now look like the cartoon-equivalent of the blackcurrent in the Ribena advertisements. I have done it again.

Oh well, it will look ok in 2 weeks for so. I'll just pin and gel my hair up in the meantime. Hehe;p

It was nice to be in Brisbane on an Easter Monday. It is funny how I establish close friendships with ppl from my school only after we have graduated. Met up with my ex-classmate from poly and we had so much to talk about, even though we were not close back in school. I really had a great time talking to her and it was so nice to see her after so long.:)

We talked about the past a lot. I allowed myself to look back and laughed. I am not going into details but it is a personal triumph for me now. Having learnt the art of emotional detachment, I lead a much happier life when I am able to choose to weed out what I do not want to affect me.

Gonna end my entry abruptly. I am too tired to contemplate about issues.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

I had nearly 4 days off and yet again, I have pushed myself to the brink of exhaustion. It has been very fulfilling though as I managed to spend time with some of my favourite people. They have really made my smiles wider and I am thankful to have them in my life.:)

Nicky and Miko went for grooming yesterday. Miko is fucking hilarious! She came back with a sullen look on her face and refused to look at or respond to anyone hahaha:) Her fur was all shaved off except for her tail hehe:) Nicky, on the other hand, came back, a vision of glorious beauty. Glossy black fur and white ruff neatly trimmed. He was bright-eyed and happy. :)

I'm off to Brisbane in a bit, but before I do, I'll go for a run first. Will be back in 3 days! Til then.

Friday, April 14, 2006

My most recent flight to Tokyo and then to Los Angeles is one of the best and most fulfilling flights I have ever done. I had to drag myself to work the day I departed and I was sure I'll be bored to death. I never really cared much about the shopping anyway. I did not even buy a single thing when I was in the states. In all honesty, I just don't being away for so long.

I had a really pleasant surprise! When I checked in for my flight, I realized one of my friends on the same flight! That cheered me up already. Then I saw the next name, it was my ex-classmate from primary 1 to 4! Oh my God. Can you imagine? We live in the same area, attended the same poly and yet completely lost touch for 10 over years! And we were reunited for the first time on flight!:)

The first night in Tokyo was uneventful coz there was too little time to do much. The real fun began when I was in Los Angeles. My friend's boyfriend was a passenger on our flight and the 3 of us rented a car on the first day and drove down to LA Gun Club.

Fucking hell, it was totally awesome handling a gun for the very first time. I am into dangerous shit like that sometimes when the mood strikes. We girls were trembling with excitement when we held the pistol. It was much heavier than I expected. We got 2 lanes, 3 pistols, 3 targets and 150 bullets. The gun shots coming from the other lane was so loud that we kept jumping with every shot fired. I hate the sound of a popping ballon and a gun shot is at least 10 times louder than that.

I loaded a bullet into my pistol and with my heart pounding furiously, I took aim and fired my first shot.

I missed.

I tried again and this time I hit the target sheet. As I gained my confidence, my excitement drowned out the sounds which had fazed me earlier on. I was not even bothered by the empty bullet shells flying over me from the next lane. I managed to hit the centre of the target a few times!

It is fucking exhilarating and you get a high just from the adrenaline rush. I can't wait to do it again man. We made our way down to Santa Monica but it was too dark by then to see anything.

The next day, we headed out to Death Valley National Park in California. It was a 3 hour drive there from Los Angeles. My gal friend and I took turns to drive as well although her b/f did most of the driving. It was quite a rush driving at 80 miles per hour but it didn't feel like we were going that fast coz all the cars were zipping past in equally alarming speeds!

We spent the whole day and evening driving through the park and stopping at various points to take in all the sights. I was silenced by the subtle beauty of it all. If you really know how to appreciate the wonder of nature, you'd love it. I felt an immense calm settling over me and I came back a different person. I could spend all day just doing that and I will not be bored. I feel really happy to have found a gal friend who shares the same sense of thrill and adventure as me:)

We came back at 3am in the morning and had to fly to Tokyo on the very same day.

Tokyo never fails to fascinate me. I have always liked Japan and this is one of the best times to be there because it is the cherry blossom season. A group of us made our way down to a temple to buy charms and make wishes. Then, we headed down to one of the more prominent parks in Ueno. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom and absolutely lovely.

Spent time catching up with Corine, my ex-classmate in Tokyo and I am glad we had so much to talk about:) Such a lovely and meaningful trip this time round. Now, I'm exhausted, have not slept well for more than a week so it is time for me to do so now. Goodnight! Muakz!



Wednesday, April 05, 2006

These days, I can't seem to find comfort in anything. Oh well, just gonna let these fucked up feelings run its course then I'll be ok.

Going off on a long trip, Tokyo, then to Los Angeles. Hopefully, I'll be much happier when I'm back.

Ciao.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Why do I seemingly have so much, and yet nothing at all?
The events that have taken place in my life since I last blogged have left me with mixed feelings and even pain. The opportunity that I have been waiting for has come my way. But suddenly, I am not ready. But then again, when can we ever be totally ready? I will not let this opportunity slip me by.

I am currently reading this book "The Five Stages of the Soul" by Dr. Harry R. Moody. This is one of the best reads I've ever come across in a long time. In a flash, I have gained an insight on so many things that has been happening in my life and have been struggling to comprehend. I am slowly beginning to understand.

Today, I feel a dull twisting pain in my heart. Pain and depression are my adversaries. Emptiness overwhelms me from time to time. But in most cases, my adversaries may be my helpers. I will make my life better.