Poof!!! I am having a field time seeing through the smoke bombs people throw to hide their true intentions or lack of understanding, all behind one giant smoke screen. While I find it amusing, it annoys me to no end. Since coming here, I have had my fair share of exposure to a few characters and it is no fun having to deal with them.

These usual suspects try to bullshit their way through and come up with some cock and bull story to cover their ass when they have managed to rig things in their favour, sometimes at the expense of other people. I can go on and on about this but I have to get ready for a sim session.

Tempting as it is to stop being politically correct and fuck these idiots to the face, it is not professional and definitely not wise. If only more people can open their eyes wider and stand firm to doing the right thing, rather than make special exceptions.

I am done with my planning for tomorrow's sortie so here I am, kicking back with a glass of red wine and recollecting some of my thoughts.

One of the things that I will surely miss about Perth is the availability of decent red wine at prices you would never get back in Singapore. Never. Even though I long to go home, the quality of life here is just different, in more good ways than one. Ah well... this is an experience that is unique, comparable to my secondary school days, just that I get to re-live those days as an adult, the way that I want.

These are indeed the best years of my life so far and I am ever so grateful for the opportunity to do something that I really want. This journey, though far from over, has been an amazing one thus far and cannot be quantified.

It is real and I am living my dream. The vision I have for myself is simple, yet in the grander scheme of things, this is just one aspect of my life that I have to get right. That, and to erm, lose 5KGs haha!

I am enjoying myself a tad too much, but it not at the expense of my training. Still, the lifestyle is not good for me in the long run and I have to take a step back and regain that harmony once again.

Moving on... every muscle in my body is screaming out in pain! I was over-enthusiastic during the kickboxing session on Saturday and I am totally sore everywhere! The cold simply amplifies the pain, ouch! The sadist in me loves the pain though, I need to feel it to be satisfied with my workout. Even if I were to run 10KM, my muscles will not hurt as much, for my body has grown accustomed to the exercise and it is time for a change.

Gotta go and crawl painfully into bed now. Til then!

It was one helluva week but everything was just fine and dandy, wonder how this week will hold up for me? Intensive it will be, better be focused and disciplined to get me through. It is crunch time but now that I know how fast things can move, I will try my best to keep up and think ahead.

Have been reflecting on the events in my life from time to time and I will sum it up with one short conclusion before I go... People will never know what they are truly made of until they have pushed themselves beyond what they thought possible.

Dare to dream!

At times, I just simply cannot fathom how I allow myself to make stupid mistakes, today being one which caused my sortie to be cancelled. It was not exactly a disaster, but I certainly feel bad enough... all that preparation gone to naught. It has been 10 days since my last dual and when I finally get a slot, I go screw it up on the ground. Brilliant me.

I feathered the propellors at 2200 RPM when I was doing my engine run-up checks, and the RPM dropped by 700, which is undesirable, because the maximum drop allowed for this prop exercise is 300 RPM. My instructor was understandably quite pissed with me and made the decision to turn back to have the engines checked. Thankfully, that slip of mine was inconsequential and there was no damage whatsoever. I would have felt even worse if that had caused the sortie after me to be cancelled. Oh well, mistakes like these will not be repeated again for sure, since I am the one making them. The smart way is to learn from the mistakes of others of course, because it will be horrible if I make them all by myself. Fuck man.

The Baron does not seem to like me very much, I am still not very good at making 'her' respond well to my control inputs. Damn that bitch. The Cessna was a lot more forgiving. It is my fault for not being good enough, yet. I can only hope and pray I will master it in time for the next progress check, and I will. For now, I will get over today's boo boo by sulking in my room, just for this evening.

Nabei!!!

Have not found the time to blog lately... training has been rather intense and there is still lots to read up on. The internet connection is another factor as I am unable to connect to the network most of the time. I suppose that is a good thing though, one less distraction out of the way.

Today is one of the rare days that I have time to mull over my thoughts, something I have not done lately. I had a lot of things on my mind over the past few days but they were fleeting and I did not get a chance to reflect on them. I have lost them now, but I am sure that they will come back to me if it requires my attention. Sometimes, it is better not to think too much.

The situation has changed now that I am in the nav phase for the Baron. It is harder to get my sorties done as there is just not enough slots for everyone. I have already been bumped off a couple of times, something which I am obviously not too happy about. It is not necessarily fair but I accept it because I understand the situation. Besides, my progress has been decent up til now and I am lucky to have a very dedicated instructor. I have to count my blessings, if not I will just be one unhappy soul. Oh well.

I have been in a rather bitchy mood lately, something which I am not proud of and I blame it on PMS heh. I usually keep it in, so what I feel inside is not reflected outside. However, I find that I am much less tolerant when it comes to certain characters. I just don't feel the love and have basically signed them off. Not that I am nasty or anything, I just don't give a shit, that's all. Perhaps, it is a poor mentality to have but hey, I never said I was an angel. Besides if I get annoyed one time too many, the mean edge in me surfaces.

Having said that, no matter how mean and intolerant I may sound sometimes, my comments are just as far as it gets. Simply put, I am civil and I will still be fair, I will just not go out of my way to be nice.

Moving on, my lifestyle is catching up with me. It sounds strange, considering I am in Perth, but I have to slow down and spend more time with myself. While I really enjoy the company of others, I miss my 'me-alone' time. I think I should get the balance back, it will do me a lot of good.

It is a lovely Sunday and I am off to enjoy the rest of the day!

Another good friend of mine completed his training and left on Friday night and the college now seems so much quieter without him around. His presence is already missed but it is fortunate that I now have my room mate, YJ with me, . This is the way I always feel this way everytime someone close to me leaves this place. I should have gotten used to it by now, but I am not. Still, life goes on and it will be my turn to leave, soon enough.

This week has been intense for me but it is a very fulfilling one. I have completed my conversion onto the Baron and on schedule. It has been exhausting and a real challenge but in terms of holding it all together, I think I am doing just fine. From next week on, things will get even more intense, all the way until my final progress check. Definitely not comfortable, but I will survive and keep a positive attitude.

I have been running a lot more often now, thanks to my room mate who is even more disciplined than I. YJ is a lot of fun and it is great that we have many things in common and do most things together. It is our conversations that I enjoy the most as I thrive on communication.

Living for all the moments that make me happy now... I am glad there is so much to look forward to. With great enthusiasm, I plunge into everything that thrills me. I am starting to live life once again.

=)

The hyperactivity has been kicking in and I am feeling an all-time high. On top of the intensive workload, the buzz of activities have been non-stop. Though I have loads of energy, I am starting to feel the burn very soon. Having said that, I am the happiest I have ever been since the day I arrived.

There are many things that I would like to share here but as it is, I often have less to write about when I am keeping myself busy and in good spirits. I will probably catch up with my writing when I do not feel so tired and have less to do.

For now, I just want to catch up on my sleep and prepare for tomorrow and then, I can enjoy the weekend. It will be lovely and I am looking forward to it.