Sunday, August 30, 2009

I am trying to psyche myself for the beginning of next week as yet another great weekend comes to an end. I could really get used to this but I know better than to do that because I know I might start taking it for granted. Instead, I will just live for the moment and enjoy the happy times as they come along, as if I am experiencing them for the first time.

Sent my brother off at the airport today, though he will only be gone for 4 months, he will definitely be missed. Still, his exchange program in Canada will be a great experience, lucky him! Oh the opportunity to travel to neighbouring states and countries! It is something I have always wanted to do, with good company of course. I did not have a chance to do that when I was Perth. The training was intensive and there was the ever existing time and cost factor. Also, not forgetting that there was a strict curfew to adhere to. Oh well, there will definitely be a chance to do so in the near future because I can just see it coming!

I have been squeezing in the time to tickle the ivories whenever I can, it is a skill I do not want to lose and I still enjoy my music. I must make more effort learn new songs to add to my repertoire. Someday I would like to buy a better piano for myself, preferably in white, that would be a real beauty.

The Lord has been good to me and everyday when I wake up, I am thankful for all the blessings he has bestowed onto me. I must treasure these precious and defining moments of my life and the best is yet to come.

Monday, August 24, 2009

God is good. This is real and now I truly understand what it is supposed to feel like... I know I have found what has been missing for so long when everything just clicks neatly into place. There were no mind games, second-guessing, disappointments and bullshit. None.

I am glad I had the sense to hold out for what I want and go with the flow when it is time. The happiness that emanates from my soul is pure and deep down in my heart, I know that this is right. Life is just about to get better.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

=) The smile says it all.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

This is my favourite time of the night... where I would get under the covers of my bed and reflect on my thoughts for the day.

It is all out in the open now, my mom has told my relatives about my licence and they had many nice, positive things to say. Which is fine I suppose, but if they had known about my intentions BEFORE I made it, I am pretty sure they will not be singing the same tune.

There was a lot I had to say, but I lost my train of thought after chatting with people over MSN while I was trying to write. I will leave the rest for next time.

I am feeling generally happy and blessed abd there is a lot to look forward to. I am eager to see how the rest of my life will pan out, I have a good feeling about this. All I have to do is be still and believe.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My brain cells have definitely been put to good use these days. There are just so many things to think about, with regards to work. More importantly, I need to decide on the next step I need to take to towards my ultimate goal. I suppose it is a good thing to keeps the mind active, as they say an idle mind is the devil's workshop.

There is a tonne of information that I need to process and I am not yet at the level where I can function independently. It will all fall into place once I can see how everything fits to form the big picture. Also, I have been tasked to come up with 2 advertisements for marketing purposes. I have so many things to do that I do not have much spare capacity left for creativity.

I will take it positively, all these are challenges and it is nothing I cannot handle. So yeah, I will be more methodical in the way I do things. The 'ABBA' that I have gotten used to does not exist in the corporate world so I will have to rely on myself and my own system, which can best described as organized chaos.

Oh well, there is a reason for everything... a saying which has irritated me somewhat, having heard it one too many times. However, I am beginning to understand. I have a very strong feeling that God has placed me where I am now, for a purpose and though I do not see it now, I am certain it will all be revealed in due time.

The Lord tells me to be still and to hold out for I really want, so I will believe Him and trust with my heart. May the inner voice that guides me resonate with His will.

So fucking tired, time for bed.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

A pair of dark, woeful eyes burned into me as I was washing the dishes just now. Coming back home to my two lovely doggies is definitely one of those things that will make me smile at the end of a tiring day.

It was a better day at work today. I have gotten into the grove of things and am getting used to corporate life. I have not started on my actual role yet but I was kept busy throughtout the day.

It is a pain in the ass having to think about what to wear everyday, how I miss my uniforms! Hopefully, it won't be long now before I get to don one again.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Today is my first day of work. Uneventful, not too bad but I am not exactly jumping for joy. The corporate life is not for me but I will give it a chance. Time to go to bed so I will leave the entry as short as it is now.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Hello real world. I am starting work tomorrow, not quite what I had envisioned myself doing but I am going to give it a fair shot. Mixed feelings... I still do not know what to expect. While the timing and the opportunity is perfect, my heart still yearns for the skies. Ah well, it is a vision I will have to put aside for now, until things in the industry pick up again.

A purpose driven life I must lead, peppered with many moments of childish endeavours. When can I be filled with the spirit of unbridled happiness? I seem to have lost my drive momentarily but my goal is still the same. I pray for the peace that transcends all understanding and the wisdom to know what to do.
In need of time alone, in a sanctuary that is all my own. It is suffocating when the walls feel like they are closing in on you. My tummy feels super bloated and I swear my head is about to explode. Totally not cool.

Sometimes I entertain thoughts of disappearing for awhile and search for the harmony that has eluded me momentarily. I feel an exhaustion that I cannot seem to explain and I need a hiatus from it all.

When I look back, the feeling of being alive is now just a distant memory. I need to find the inspiration to help me rekindle the joy in my heart. Sigh.