Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I had a wake-up call this morning. It is still not too late.

Not to late to break out of this comfort zone that I am enjoying right now. It is time to do something for myself, time to move on. I am going to do a part-time degree and I'll try to make it for next year's intake.

By the age of 25, I must:

- Have my driving license
- Get my Grade 8 in piano
- Get my degree
- Look damn fucking good, or at least maintain. That is a must hahaha;p

I have more to add to that list of course.

By then, I would have already been with the company for 5 years and I will get my graduity. My bond will end this year. If the right opportunity comes along, I might just quit before my contract ends. As Judy put it ever so aptly, 'collect ammunition'.

Working and studying part-time is fucking tough but it has to be done. I must create options for myself while I am still young and have no commitments. I must harness every single one of my abilities so that nothing goes down the drain. I KNOW I am capable, just that I lack the discipline and motivation. I do not want to look back, 10 years down the road with regret, not having acheived anything of substance.

My worst fear is to be left behind when everyone else has moved on. It scares the shit out of me. It truly does. I like my job but I do not want it to be the ONLY option for me.

Thanks for talking to me Judy and Julz.:) The both of you have been constant sources of positivity and encouragement in my life. I love you gals to bits! *big hug*

Less partying and mucking around, gonna surge ahead and be the best I can be. Wish me luck on my ambition.:)

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Yo I'm back! Have not slept for the past 25 hours...

I was up to the same old crazy shit again. Touched down from Tokyo,changed and went down to Liquid Room. It sucked tonight... the freaking place was so jam packed I could barely move. I really did not enjoy myself at all. Except, of course, for the company of my babe, Veena:)

I am now clearing my e-mail after being away for 4 days, when I saw this link.

My resolve to never EVER get drunk remains strong, if not stronger. Anyhoo, I hardly get drunk nowadays.

I shall reserve my harshest comments to myself heh. I wish I had been there to see the show though;p It would have been interesting to watch.

Crashed and burnt out. See ya peeps.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

This gonna be a short entry because I am gonna try to get some sleep before flying off to Tokyo, via Bangkok later in the evening. It will be a tiring flight, so I need all the rest I can get. Having had 4 hours sleep the night before is simply not enough.

I will miss everyone dear to me, especially my baby... *muakz*

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I'm on a mission to look absolutely fab by Christmas... Especially since I have off days on 24,25 and 26. Am I lucky or what? Heh:)

Am so looking forward to this, time to shake things up!

Met Daphne for the first time this year lol:) Yep, it was THAT long and we live in the same area. We used to attend French classes at Alliance Francaise together. She'd be seated across the room, facing me, however, we did not exchange a word or even a smile.

Then one day, when I'm on my way to the training centre, I saw her come up the bus with her hair in a bun and the full SIA make-up. (Yep, we had to adhere to the grooming guidelines while training) I immediately knew she was training to be a flight stewardess, just like myself. It's like duh? It's a no-brainer. No one would be mad enough to bun their hair and shock everyone with bright red lips and equally garish red nails that early in the morning. UNLESS, of course, you're a trainee at the SIA Training Centre.

Anyhoo, I thought she looked familiar but I cannot remember where I've seen her. Saw her around a few times but I did not think much about it.

Then when I was reporting for my 5th solo to Perth, she introduced herself to me. She would be on the same flight as a trainee. (We have to do 4 flights, 2 on each fleet, during our 4 month training stint) She remembered me from the French classes and we hit it off from there.

And now we're colleagues and friends, meeting up for a gym session at California Fitness and lunch at Marche. Thanks gal, I enjoyed your company and I had a great time!:)

I believe, that in your lifetime, you are meant to meet certain people and for a reason. I've met some people in ways that are out of the norm, that have made a major impact in my life. This includes my current boyfriend but that is another story for another time.:)

Life is so interesting isn't it? I am a firm believer of fate and going with the flow. Usually all the shit you go through in life will sort itself out, somehow. Things happen for a reason, but when it gets out of hand, it is up to us to be the master of our own fate.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


The power of 3:)
A devil-may-care attitude I may have... Yet, despite myself, I am actually hurt by his words and actions tonight...

Misunderstanding and a clash of bad moods at one of its worsts.

How can one, who can make me so happy one minute, make me go to bed with a heavy heart the very next instant?

If only you knew how happy you could've made me, too bad you don't always understand. I'd be yours forever if you do...

I think I'll give in this time.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Yesterday evening ended on a lovely note.:) Judy says she went to sleep with a smile on her face. I'm not sure about myself and Julz though... I mean, we are friendly and we CAN BE all smiles if we like you... But we both has this stuck-up, 'don't fuck with me' look about us... Anyhoo, I don't think I am someone who smiles in my sleep, snore yes, smile? No.

We had a nice dinner at Thai Express, while talking about weird stuff like how crocodiles mate and the size of their *ahem* and then we moved on to elephants... (???). Judy started the subject on pregnancy prevention patches and its horrible side effects like gaining weight or if you don't, blood clots in the body.

Me: "I'd rather have blood clots man."

The gals looks at me with an incredulous 'Hellooo? WTF?' expression on their faces. I don't blame them... I think my mind is seriously warped and I am obsessed with losing weight. I have every reason to be and I am not ashamed to say it. Everyone tells me I look fine. And yeah I do look fine but, I beg to differ, because I don't look fine enough for my expectations. ;p

So, we went up to the open area to sit around, talk and take pictures upon Judy's insistence. Now, I am someone who honestly hates taking pictures unless I look damn hot that day. Sorry Jude, but I have to say this...your camera, in flash mode, made us all look bad, very bad. All puffed up and bloated. Wahahaha!

Don't look good in pictures? Blame the freaking camera!


The power of 3:)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The first thought that popped into my mind when I got into the cab when reporting for my flight to Auckland was, "Shit, I am screwed."

Get this, I usually make sure I arrive at the control centre 30 minutes before reporting. Since it takes me at least half an hour to reach the airport, I have to leave the house at least 1 hour before reporting time.

That day, for some weird reason which I can't quite phantom, I left the house at 6.35pm, when my reporting was at 7pm.

I could have died and gone to hell.

Anyhoo, I made it on the dot. I was so flustered that my orientation was all disrupted. I was so sure it was the beginning of a bad flight.

Fuck, I was wrong... I had a blast! Haha! After we arrived at the hotel, that is. A group of us gathered together with some alcohol to hang out and talk shit.:) Great company, just laughing at anything and everything. Sometimes, I love my job and my life. If it is as fun as this all the time.:)

Went to look at my partially renovated flat yesterday... Lovely! The house has a good feel about it. The contracter did a hell of a good job. I can't wait to move back in:) Headed down to Kimage, cut my fringe china-doll style and trimmed my hair. Tortured myself at the gym after that.

Then, partied hard at Phuture. A few of us from the Auckland flight, plus some other friends. Danced all night, the RnB music was great, the vibe was pumping into our veins at full force. I love music, I love to dance and I love my life.

What a weekend...:)

And the best part? I'll be meeting my babes Judy and Julz for dinner in a bit!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Watch me die. I came back at freaking 7am in the morning, woke up at 12pm and now I can't get back to sleep. I am reporting for Auckland at 6.30pm today and I got to work throughout the night. I feel tired just thinking about it. Auckland, by the way, is not an easy flight to do at all. It is perpetually always a full load, long flight time and very little rest.

Sigh.

I already feel a little depressed reporting for this flight.

Anyhoo, I went to Gotham Penthouse with my babes Veena, Huiling and Veena's friend, Mia. It was my first time there and it'll be my last. The R&B they play just doesn't do it for me. Nah uh. Still, the company was good and that was all that mattered.

Ah well, gonna go do my 30 minutes of cardio now. Hopefully, that'll perk me up. I am seeing results hahaha:)

I miss my babes Nicole, Julie and Judy. Have not seen you gals in a long long time. I hope you gals miss me too:)

Friday, November 11, 2005

This is hard work... really hard work. Discipline is so tough...

What's worse, I am starting to have my pms symptoms... all the cravings... feeling hungry all the time...

Bottomline, damage control ALWAYS. Should never have allowed it to get out of hand in the first place.

I burned off 500 plus calories doing 1 hour of cardio today. It'll be easier once my body comes out of its 'shock' and start trimming down.

Very hard, but I'll persevere.
Just something out of the blue and unrelated. One of my friends said that people who are emotionally strong have natural physical strength. I find this to be quite true.

Anyhoo, I have been working hard for 3 days now and I am going to be very strict with my diet until I am happy with the results. I stepped onto the weighing scale for the first time in a few months...

My jaws dropped. Literally. I was like what the fuck?

What's weird is that I actually look much lighter than the figure that I saw on the weighing scale.

This won't do.

I must create a calorie deficit. Take in less calories, burn more.

Wish me luck. *sigh*

Monday, November 07, 2005

My turnaround flight to Bali yesterday was more interesting than usual... one of the senior crew that I did not work with took one look at me and said that I was positively glowing. I thought he was talking about my skin but he wasn't. He was actually talking about the aura every person has about them. Apparently, good fortune will come my way in the next 3-6 months. He also told me a lot of things which was pretty accurate...

It is a peace of mind to know that at least I'll be experiencing positive things to come. Whether it is psychological or whether it is real, who the hell cares, as long as it makes me happy and relaxed, I'll believe whatever I want.

Some issues that were bugging me the past few days have sorted itself out. Not all of it, but at least I don't have a headache about it anymore. I had a good talk with my baby, things are ok for now... I am glad.

Would like to blog more but I'm meeting Judy and Jon for lunch. I'm actually looking forward to going to work tonight, even though I'm going to Shanghai haha:)

Til then.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I have come to a point where I wonder, yet again, whether I am really happy with how
my life is going... Have been spending many, many days deep in thought. Still, life's mysteries and answers elude me. In short, I don't know what the fuck I really want.

What else is new?

I only feel incomplete and I'm not living up to my full potential. There is something missing in my life and I think I know what the missing pieces are. I am slowly being sucked into the system of what society and the people around you expects of you. I hate explaining my actions or why I do things a certain way. I hate living my life for other people and not for myself. What a sucker...

A few of my friends have been going through very rough patches when it comes to relationships... The only thing I can do is to listen and give some advice... sometimes I hope it is good enough because it is not in my position to interfere... Speaking of which, mine is not going exactly the way I want either. There are some key elements which I need that are sorely missing... Gotta try and have a talk when I come back.

I am really feeling all angst-y and shit, wonder how long I am able to keep up this facade? Fuck, I just hope it is one of my mood swings again, if not, I must seriously consider what I am going to do about it.

Off to Sydney tonight, back on Friday afternoon. Think I might wanna go dance or some shit like that. Bye.