Getting back some semblance of the old momentum. To get started is always the hardest part, but once things are set into motion, everything else just moves along and fall into place.

Nothing much to say really, I am just tired. I have not been sleeping well and tonight I will have to fly to Frankfurt overnight with minimum rest. Ah well, I have a lot of catching up to do.

Isn't it all so very strange? Life that is. The journey that lies ahead continues to be a mystery. Sometimes, we think we have found the answers, only to realize that we do not really understand anything at all. That occasional fleeting glimspe into the unknown skews the perspective of our limited understanding. The perennial search for our role and purpose in this lifetime eludes us and confuses us even more. But yet, it forces us to re-examine our life from time to time and set things right, if it is within our power to do so.

I have been oscillating between the need to escape and to face up to the harsh reality of the real world. We always want and want more and what we get is never enough because we will be looking for that 'missing piece' that will complete that beautiful picture. Even if we do manage to find that missing element, by some miracle, it will not remain complete forever. Because everything is transient and everything changes, nothing ever remains the same.

After much pondering, I arrive at the same conclusion, again. To be happy is to keep things simple, learn to accept our flaws and live with the imperfections that mar our lives. I have also come to realize that it is not the expectations that we have of other people that disappoint us, but rather, it is the expectations that we have of ourselves that bring the biggest disappointment. Well, that is true for my case anyway. I can only conclude that the best things in life come unexpected.

Things get more complicated as we grow older, as always, the more we count our blessings and the simpler we keep our lives, the happier we will be. The free spirit in me will not be bound by society's expectations.

Lazy Sunday for me, been quite awhile... I am not doing anything but I am happy. I don't believe in forcing myself to find things to do to be happy, I can be just as contented doing nothing. Got activated to fly to Melbourne tonight, it might be good to get away, no?

What would you do? Do you hold out for something you really want, or go for what is more obvious at this moment of time? That is the question that has constantly been on my mind of late.

Do I really want to miss another boat? Or is there a reason why I have missed the others? I guess I will never really know, will I?

Perhaps, the answers will reveal itself in time.

One of the things that bring meaning into my life is the difference others have made in mine. It is all about the ties that bind, that strange affinity and the meeting of destinies that inexplicably become intertwined.

It is all about making that difference that touch the lives of others. No matter how big or small, we all have some sort of role to play. Sometimes, unknowingly, you might just be that beacon of light that shines ever so brightly in the darkness of someone else's life.

I value all the ties that I have forged over time, those that are real and those that hold true. They are blessings a thousand-fold. Even more meaningful is my relationship with God, I have never been more glad His guidance in my life. I will leave it all up to Him and I will have absolute trust in His wisdom once more.

I am off again to London, I will be back soon enough.

There is a saying that time lost, is time gone forever and that time waits for no man. It still continues to baffle me how time flashes by in the blink of an eye. It is the most valuable resource that we have at our disposal and yet, it is also something that we take for granted, thinking we have all the time in the world.

It was not too long ago that I wised up and since then, I have been on a personal mission to make every hour of my life count. By nature, I am a slacker and a procrastinator and it is somewhat unnatural for me to go all out and get things done. The realization is a blessing in more ways than one, because it gave me the push that I needed to find out what I am truly capable of. Looking back, I would never have imagined doing all that I am doing now.

Yet, there is always the flip side of the coin. In my obsessive attempts at maximizing my time, I bite off more than I can chew and I lose myself in the process. I sink into the doldrums and I withdraw from everyone. Even worse, I lose touch with God and shut him out, thinking I can do things my own way. Then, I have to fight to crawl out of the rut and force myself to re-examine life and get back some semblance of harmony.

My holiday to Perth was excellent, I don't think I have been happier than this all year. It was good to finally get away and not do anything specific. It is not so much of the place I am in nor the activities that I occupy my time with. It is really more of the company that I am with. I have been very well taken care of and it is more than I ask for. Despite this visit being longer than the usual ones, the four nights that I spent there was over sooner than I want it to be. Time really flies when you are having a good time. I am glad that I enjoyed every moment. I have so much more to say but I have to go now. I will continue when I am back in 2 hours or so.

Heading towards a downward spiral and I am not making much of an effort to snap out of this melancholy. Guilty as charged... I know better than to let myself slip into this rut, but I did anyway. My mind has been bogged down by fleeting thoughts that don't seem to take on any shape or form. The heaviness that weighs on my heart gnaws at me continually and I can feel myself succumbing to the weaknesses and insecurities that I thought I had been rid of.

I thought I have it all sorted out and that finally I know exactly what I want in life. That picture on my mental screen, as clear as the day. Suddenly, I am wrecked with self-doubts and I am just not so sure of myself anymore. I have let many things slide, my discipline, my momentum and the whole positive attitude towards life. Choosing instead, to allow myself to sink into the doldrums of passivity.

I feel like my soul is crying out and seeking once again. There is so much I want to say but I find it hard to express myself. I want to bare my heart and soul but only my eyes can truly convey what I am feeling inside. Yet, at this moment, I feel like withdrawing from the rest of the world. Sometimes, there may be many people around me, but I still feel all alone.

My closest friends fade into the background and strangers come along and make a deep impression. They come and go, just like everything else because nothing is forever, transient at most. What is life really all about? I seek once more... I really want to live my life through the eyes of a child again.