Whoooosh! I felt the power and it was totally awesome! I did my first 2 sorties on the Baron today and it was simply fantastic. Just by saying the callsign and requesting for full length is enough to make me feel different! There were many things I had to get used to all over again and everything happens twice as fast but I should be more comfortable after a few more sorties. I had a big, big smile on my face for the rest of the day. Looking forward to the next sortie tomorrow!

I had a great run in the evening but I think I caught a cold because it was quite chilly. I just hope I don't fall ill and if I do, it will be my first time over here.

Coming back to Jandakot is not as bad as I thought it would be after the good time I had in Singapore. Time seemed to have stopped for me and things are going pretty smoothly for a start. Also, having a room mate makes things a lot more cheery and fun. It is great to have female company in a place like this and even better, that we are on the same frequency, spontaneous and like doing the same things.

Seems like the rest of my stay here is looking to be all good. I will make the most out of it.

Goodbye Singapore, hello Jandakot. Time has passed all too quickly and it is now time for me to head back to Perth. I had a great time whilst I was here and all good things unfortunately, come to an end, albeit a little too soon.

Over here, I am exhausted from being out most of the time but it is well worth it. My heart is already feeling a little heavy as I have to leave all the people who are dear to me. I am not feeling excited about going back but luckily, this time round, I will only be there for another 3 months or so.

Sigh.

I am now at my final phase here in Jandakot. Exciting and new challenges await me and the learning curve steepens again. It is something to look forward to and as it is with all things new, it is always good fun.

For now, I will just enjoy my break.

Tomorrow marks yet another turning point in my training and I am feeling strangely calm about it. I hope I maintain the same composure tomorrow and deliver my best. I am really looking forward to the break and may it all go according to plan. With this, I commit it all to the Lord, then it is time to move on to the final phase.

It is too early to say whether I will be able to make it back to Singapore on the 15th but as it is, things are going according to plan. I have gotten permission to go back but I will only book my ticket when I pass my Phase 3 check.

I have cleared the theory check today, now all that remains to be seen is how well I do tomorrow and for the progress check of course. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

Today I woke up and it was as if I am seeing the world with new eyes. It is really kind of hard to explain, but if I were to try and describe it, it was like a new level of awareness in me had come alive, filling me with inspiration, passion and wonder all over again. I really wish there is a better way that I can share and express all these feelings but for now, I just want to write down my thoughts.

These feelings become alive in me once in awhile, but ever since I started my training here, they have remained dormant for some time. Perhaps it is just the environment and the people here. It is not all that bad really, but I am subject to negativity and complaints everyday that it is just hard not to be affected. There are many times where I am surrounded by people, yet feel like the loneliest person in the world. Couple that with the stress and uncertainty, I eventually allow myself to become disillusioned and jaded.

It is ironic that I have the opportunity to pursue something that I love, but yet feel like shit most of the time. There are the occasional moments of joy but they last as long as a sugar high and then I crash again. I have had to deal with many personal issues and move on from a failed relationship. There are so many times I wish I can just have a good cry but something in me just blocks out the pain I should be feeling. In a way, it is good that I am able to compartmentalize my feelings because it serves its purpose and keeps me going. Though, even if I was not able to, I will not allow myself to crash and burn.

I appreciate honesty and though it can be brutal sometimes, it is still better than living a lie. Then again, sometimes I contradict myself. Do I really know what I want or what I should do? Well, sometimes I have momentary lapses of judgement. All I want is a peace of heart and mind, but for certain aspects of my life, I do not have that.

I just want to share this verse from the bible:

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and being certain of what we do not see. Hebrew 11:1

The verse resonates with how I am living my life right now. Faith has done many wonderful things for me and I will continue to keep it that way.

Nabei... managed to hit my head really hard against the extended flaps, not once, but twice today. It still hurts like a bitch, but I guess I am lucky not to get a gash. Anyhow, I did the last of my navigation solos today and this time, there were no dramas. I have clocked enough PIC hours for now and that leaves me more time to concentrate on the remaining duals.

As always, there are mixed feelings. While I am happy to have gotten them out of the way, I know I will really, really miss the freedom of being up there alone.

Moving on, I am getting well and truly irritated with the way some people are doing things over here. My comments, with regards to this shall be reserved for another time as I am feeling tired. For now, I will just fuck it and keep my opinions to myself.

Yesterday night, I finally had the time to watch Marley and Me, a movie I have been wanting to watch for ages. Sad to say, it fell way below my expectations. The dog I had grown to know and love while reading the book was well, just a plain old dog in the movie. The heartwarming tale about the life of Marley the dog and the lives he touched was turned into a mediocre plot about the author and his family. Actually, there was not even a plot, there was no development, no climax, no anything. It was just very deadpan and boring to say the least. No one really gives a hoot about Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson running after a dog who crashes into things and leaves a trail of destruction. At least, I know I don't. If you don't already know my opinion, I think the book is a million times better.

Cold, tired and time for bed. Signing off.

Perth is becoming too cold for my liking and I really dread the onset of winter. The days are getting shorter and the nights, longer and colder. These days I find it harder and harder to leave the warmth and comfort of my blanket, or the running hot water when I shower.

I am looking forward to going back to Singapore for that short break, back to everything that is familiar to me.

My nav solo today went well but the aircraft that was assigned to me was the one with a recent history of engine failures. Normally, I would lean the mixture to 9 US gallons enroute but at cruise rpm and mixture full rich, I got a reading of 8 US gallons. When I powered back to 1900rpm for descent, the gauge read less than 5 US gallons, which was quite alarming. So I played withe the attitude to give me 500 fpm rate of descent without touching the throttle.

There was also a slight scare for me and one of my coursemates as there was a near mid-air collision. I was maintaining an altitude of 5500 and our paths converged when he was on climb to the same level. He looked up and saw me in time and levelled off, missing me me by 500ft as I zoomed past. We thought we were well clear of each other, having last communicated our intentions on the CTAF frequency. A lesson to be learnt here, never assume and always, always keep a look out.

On my way back to Jandakot, I saw two big eagles at my 11 o'clock high at close proximity. It was really quite amazing to see these glorious birds of prey up close, though they could have posed a real danger to me.

Coming in for landing was another concern for me as I still had the problem of an unusually low fuel flow reading and I needed to power back to 1400rpm on the base leg. Again, I used attitude control to get my speed back to lower flaps and came in really fast on finals. I only idled the throttle at 300ft as by then, I was quite fast and needed to lose the excess height. Thank God, there were no dramas upon touch down.

I will really miss doing my solos and I will only have to clock 4 more PIC hours at before I am done. I wonder when I will get a chance to experience such freedom again, maybe perhaps in the near future when I am fully licensed.

Last night, I received a phone call and though nothing is confirmed at this stage, it all seems to be moving forward towards something positive. I do hope to make use of my time back in Singapore to secure something for the future. It will not be immediate but I have a feeling, it might be soon enough. That, I will leave it to God.