The prayers helped to set my mind at ease and I am feeling so much better now. I have let the stress and fear consume me momentarily, but the Lord has given me deliverance to banish all that negativity.

I just hope that whatever I have prepared so far is sufficient to let me clear the 3 papers tomorrow. My mind is much to awake now to go to sleep, but I should try. I must not lose sight of the goal.

Writing is one of the best forms of release for me. Especially now, in times of extreme stress. My preparation does not seem to be enough and I cannot sleep because my mind refuses to be still.

This is just one of the hurdles, but at this moment, it appears to be the biggest one for now. Sometimes I begin to wonder what I am putting myself through when I was in my comfort zone before. I must have forgotten why.

My heart and mind wrestles with many things and I feel fear and negativity. It is going to take me every ounce of my energy to keep my spirits high.

3 down and 6 more to go. The feeling of uncertainty continues to gnaw at me. Made 2 very careless mistakes I knew the answers to. I really ought to kick myself for that.

I survived today, but the worst is yet to come.

I feel as if my old demons are coming back to haunt me. Lately, I have become more aware of the negativity towards towards some people and in dealing with my current situation. But sometimes I just cannot help it. Although these feelings do go away with a silent prayer, I am not completely delivered from them.

Everything is building up to a crescendo and I need to fight hard to stay abreast of things and not sink and drown. The tight feeling in my chest became more pronounced today and the tears that rolled down my cheeks did little to alleviate my despair.

Still, I managed to pull myself together and continue with what I had to do. I had my darling by my side and the prayer helped. When he leaves next Monday, I will have to do this all on my own.

Yesterday, I made time for my mom's baptism. It lifted my spirits to see the peaceful and contented smile on her face. I wish I can feel the peace I had just a few weeks ago.

Tomorrow, it starts. 2 weeks, may I be able to last it through.

Nabei, meteorology is a total bitch and I am about crumble from the stress. Unfortunately for me, that is not the only subject I have to contend with, there are a few others which I need a lot of work on.

I have many issues to deal with, which choose to crop up at the worst possible time. There have been too many major changes and disruptions which have been upsetting me greatly. The only thing that can soothe my irritation when my baby is not around, is by playing Mob Wars on Facebook in between my study breaks.

That is just sad.

Staying back in Seletar to study would have been ideal but lately my irritation level is creeping up to its maximum. In order to curb my temper and violent tendencies, I finally packed my stuff and headed home last night.

But I am not comfortable even at home, my restlessness is getting to me and I have been sneezing til my eyeballs are about to pop. Sigh.

No apologies for being emotional now because at the most crucial period in my life, my darling is leaving for Perth.

It is now down to the final crunch and the moment of truth is just less than a week away. I have never studied so much in my life but now I am forced to work that mental muscle to its brink. So much so that I have been plagued by tension headaches and dizzy spells.

The good news is, it is all starting to come together and the picture becomes clearer. But the bad news is, I don't really know how much I don't know and I don't exactly have a very good memory.

Gotta learn to like all the subjects, even though they are a pain in the ass.

The silver lining to this towering CB (cumulonimbus) cloud however, is the support of the love of my life. I do not know what I will do without him. I will miss him so much when he leaves for Perth. I am working really hard so that I can join him there very soon.