Just a quickie post before I head to bed... Will be away for a week this time round. Have been popping in and out of the country so often that I hardly feel like I am home these days. I don't really want to go but it might be good to get away.

Ah well, on a brighter note, I can use the time to catch up on the things that I have been neglecting, without the unnecessary distractions. Gotta do what I gotta do eh?

Til then, be good and I'll catch you all soon.

In hindsight, I should not have retaliated in that manner, but I did. The caustic words were the straw that broke the camel's back and I snapped. Tears were shed and the anger dissipated along with them. The recent spate of events are all too familiar and I am no longer a stranger to it. Oh well, there is nothing much to say except to fuck it and leave it.

Exhausted, I will have an early night.

Wahahaha! I cannot believe this! I am on standby tomorrow and I got activated for the exact flight I had in mind, Perth.

Cool stuff!=)

I still feel drawn, I do not know what to make of it. Should I even bother to try and find out, or go with the flow of the universe?

Maybe the answer will come to me soon. I will go get ready to go to work now.

The weather is a real bitch, it is the kinda weather that saps my energy. I am in a good mood and at peace with myself so it is still a beautiful day for me.

Well now, gotta get ready to do a Dhaka turnaround this evening. It will be an overnight flight, I hope I don't get too sleepy on board later.

Ciao!

This morning, I finally break free of the chains that have held me prisoner. It was a personal triumph over my worst nemesis, ME.

To be rid of the psychological barriers that have hindered me for so long is the best feeling of liberation ever. All those times that I have subjected myself to numerous confidence-bashing episodes has finally paid off.

I do not have a very small ego and to allow my confidence to take a beating with each failure is indeed a humbling experience. But I know I just did not want to give up. Resilience will eventually reap its sweet rewards.

Despite waking up all bleary eyed and feeling like I got dragged through a swamp, things were in my favour today... I passed my driving! Now I feel I can finally move on! Yay! Hehehehe!:)

I had a sudden whim so to do something different for a change so when one of my friends asked if I was interested to go trekking, I said yes. That was how I ended up spending my whole Sunday afternoon trekking from Bukit Panjang, through Bukit Timah Hill and finally ending up at MacRitchie.

The four of us endured slightly over 6 hours of physical punishment, carrying a heavy load and toiling under the relentless sun and making our way up and down the steep and uneven terrain of the trails.

No lah, it is not that bad really. In fact, it may very well be my new hobby in the months to come. I think I have become quite accustomed to pushing myself physically. The thing that hurt me the most from this excursion was the constant pressure of my toenails being shoved back into the cuticles. Nabei, that was bloody irritating.

I can't help but imagine what it would have been like if I had kept long acrylic toenails with a dangly nail charm or two. That will not be a good thing unless I trek with slippers or something.

Anyhow, we were ambushed by a band of monkeys when we stopped to have our lunch. They are not to be trifled with but their actions amused me. It is amazing how human-like their mannerisms are, from the way they lepak one corner, to the ball-scratching and the dry humping. It makes me wonder if they are actually apeing what they have observed or if it is part of their inborn nature. .

A senior monkey artfully nicked a packet of VitaSoy milk from us when we were not looking. He did not bother with the straw, opting instead, to rip the carton open and greedily lap up the milk.

Today was first time I saw a monkey sporting a freaking milk mustache. Man, it was corny sight to behold hehehehe!:)

I must say I have had a fulfilling day and now I am all ready to hit the sack.

Have I become numb? Yep, I do believe so...

I no longer have the comfort of tears to fall back on whenever I need some sort of emotional release. I guess I have become accustomed to dealing with upsets and fleeting disappointments in a stoic manner that is all too familiar. Perhaps, it is better to just fuck it and move on than to dwell on it and revel in the pain it in a masochistic sort of way, no?

Oh well, what can I say... talk is cheap. Dirt cheap if you ask me. Which is why most people say a lot things which they don't mean. It is the actions which I observe, and it speaks much louder than words. I give the benefit of the doubt, yes, but can you really blame me for being unmoved by mere words?

At long bloody last...

Found the solution to my blog posting woes. All I did was to download Mozilla Firefox and use it as my internet browser, problem solved. Wasted quite a bit of time, re-posting the entry that never showed up and waiting for the page to load. Damn it.

IE or MSN Explorer is not compatible with the upgraded Blogger. If anyone of you are having the same problems as me, you know what to do now.

Sleep is a luxury I don't often give myself... But on the odd occasion that I do, I end up feeling more sluggish, and my mind and body take some time to warm up and get running. I suppose I am someone who simply does not need much sleep. 6 to 7 hours daily will suffice to keep me functioning at my optimum.

That's when I am at my sharpest, most engaging and my sparkling personality, at its brightest! Wahahahaha! Just kidding maybe!;p

I have been very unkind to my body by not sleeping enough. Rest is really of paramount importance. Sure I can get away with it when I am still young, but definitely not when I am older. The sleep debtors have come knocking quite regularly. And though the ill effects have not rears its ugly head yet, it might suddenly make its presence known.

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning, (after having knocked out for a good 10 hours), was to peer out of the window. Yay! God bless the blue skies and the morning sun! Finally! A weather that is just perfect for running!

Changed into my running attire and laced up my trusty Asics trainers. Again, I had to bang my heart rate monitor to get it in working order as it keeps fucking up on me these days. Fortunately, I did not have to do the same with my Ipod Nano heh...

I usually run circles around this huge canal just beside my block when I am running on my own. There were quite a lot of people running this morning. I sprang gleefully into the momentum of the run and zoned out. I feel good and I feel like I am spending time with me. It is perhaps, my sweet escape?

Nabei lah, I am suffering from the mother of energy crashes. I have been relegated to a state where my mind feels woozy, my eyes bleary and in need for sleep and even more sleep. Just weeks ago, I was happily zipping about on 4 hours of daily fuel, maximising my productivity and getting a lot of things done. I blame it on the impending PMS. The 2 week countdown has just started.

So, I did my best for my piano exam. The 'auto-pilot' in me didn't work man. "Fuck!" I thought to myself when I froze halfway while playing the first piece. I had to ask the examiner to let me start over and he was nice enough to allow me to do so.

Ah well, it is over and done with and the results will be out a month later. I am not too concerned about the results to be honest, I just know I did my best with the little preparation that I had. I need a bigass miracle though hehe!

Liberation is what I really felt. I went ahead and did it and that is the first step. It is hard to describe the performance anxiety that seizes me when I need to do my best but I get better at dealing with it everytime.

I have had too much excitement in my life lately. Enough. Time to take a chill pill and spend some quality time with myself to recharge.

I have to end here now, my exhaustion and fever is really getting to me. But not without sharing this quote I got off an email my friend sent me:

"The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but
those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect."