Today, I looked into the mirror and did not like the reflection of the wan and pale face staring back at me.
Since being back in Singapore for nearly a week, I have barely had the time to settle down. There is just so much to do and so much to think about that my energy is slowly ebbing away as I wear myself out.
The joy and delirium at having obtained my license has fast faded away into a distant memory as I am now faced with the harsh reality of the current situation. More on that later...
The past 1.5 years that I have spent training was the happiest period of my life and my efforts have most certainly paid off. The question is when can I savour the fruits of my labour and live my dream? My achievement is definitely not one to be underestimated, but in a world outside of aviation, what does it count for? Given the way things stand at the moment, even my 4-year stint as a stewardess is more relevant...
Now that I have left the happy bubble, how I long to return. I miss walking over to the college and preparing for my flights. I miss the smell of AVGAS and the positive sound of engines starting up. Hell, I even miss the stress of progress checks and scolding I get from my instructors when I don't perform. I miss it all.
Things are not straightforward anymore and the uncertainties are being felt across the board. I need to take stock and re-assess my limited options. Do I hold out for what I want or to settle for anything that comes along? How long do I have to wait and what should I do in the meantime? I cannot imagine doing anything else. now that I have tasted flight but I will put up with it, if it is temporary.
One thing is for sure, I will not give up and I will face the overwhelming odds with all the strength I can muster. The doors have not closed on me and I will pray for God's guidance on my next move and to give me the wisdom to make the best choices.
It is not the trials that we face that makes us stronger, but our responses in those trials. I continue to trust in the wisdom of the Lord's plan and commit everything to him.
2 comments:
Please do not give up. Just hang in on there. There will be something out there for you. Do not waste what you will enjoy and have had put in the much effort and money to obtain your goal. Each set back will only make you stronger and a closer step to success.
I will definitely not give up. 3 people told me today, that everything happens for a reason. It is a sign... and whatever I do not get now, I get something better. Thanks for the encouragement!=)
Post a Comment