I have just completed the last day of my ground school, having survived 2 progress tests in the space of 2 weeks. Then, it is another round of slogging for the technical type and performance exams next week, and a final exam with the aviation authority mid August.

Training-wise, it is all good so far and I have already started on the simulator sessions. I cannot wait to get the exams out of the way as the studying is interfering with my preparations for the sims. I barely have the time and the mental capacity to consolidate whatever I have learnt since it is quite full on. I am knackered after every session as there is just so much information to process and the mind is constantly working on overdrive to keep ahead of the aircraft.

My first paycheck from the company came in last week and it made me smile for it signals a big change in my life. For once in a very long time, I am finally experiencing financial freedom and it feels good. Despite my recent pain and all the struggles I have gone through to get here, I know God has blessed me in many ways and I am extremely grateful. In the end, it will all be ok, if it is not ok, it is not the end.

I welcome the short break, even if it is only for 2 days. The days off afford me the time I need to catch up with reading the FCOMs (which I am a little behind), and to study for the progress test tomorrow.

My brain is saturated and I am not sure just how much I have managed to retain. I do have a pretty good understanding of the systems in general, but not enough for me to be comfortable. The test is no walk in the park.

Still, I am not as bewildered as I have imagined I would be. I have managed to keep pace and hold my own so far, only because I am working as hard as anyone else and that I actually love what I am doing now. That makes the difference.

It is back to the books now. Another intense week ahead.

Tomorrow marks the start of a gruelling 6 weeks of training. Though I have been counting down to this day, I am filled with a certain sense of apprehension as I know that I will now be contending with a new set of challenges. My life will change but I will do my best to make sure all my priorities still remain the same. Though I will be working hard at all the odd hours, I know that this is a job I will be happy doing for the rest of my working life.

I am extremely thankful for this opportunity and I am glad to be able to share it with my family, the love of my life and all the people who matter. From hereon, all my efforts will be focused on being good at what I do and channeling this renewed sense of purpose to work towards a better future.

The wait is finally over. Yesterday, I signed the contract to the job of my dreams and I know that from now on, my life will change. God's plan is indeed perfect and I really cannot ask for more.

It was all worth it.

Glad that I did not have to lose something to make me realize what I have.

Karyn White -- Superwoman HD version

This song speaks to me in a way that I can relate,(maybe not the part about preparing breakfast and dinner), but yeah the lyrics of the song pretty much sums it all up.

The question I always ask myself these days is, do I or do I not open that can of worms? Should I speak up or forever hold my peace?

Imagine Music Video- Glee Cast Version + Deaf students

Today, I looked out of my window and marvelled at the expanse of the sky, promising me the freedom I desire. I know I will get there.

The sermon on this Easter Sunday was a powerful one and it did more than reaffirm the peace in my heart, it changed my entire perspective.

How does a caterpillar cross a river? The answer? To become a butterfly. In that instant, a spiritual metamorphosis took place and I understood.

If I can see all around, then there is meaning to this journey. I know how I want things to be, so the change must come from within. In the end, it will be ok. If it is not ok, it is not the end.

A dawning of a new epiphany. The circumstances may not be all that pretty right now, but I will no longer let them have power over me and allow the negativity of my mind manifest even more in my life. I am done. I am not one who stays down for long anyway. As I write this entry, things are already beginning to look up.

With regards to a certain aspect of my life, i have decided to do things differently when it gets back to normal. I just know I will not put myself through this anymore. Call it silent manipulation. Sometimes, saying less is more.