Heading towards a downward spiral and I am not making much of an effort to snap out of this melancholy. Guilty as charged... I know better than to let myself slip into this rut, but I did anyway. My mind has been bogged down by fleeting thoughts that don't seem to take on any shape or form. The heaviness that weighs on my heart gnaws at me continually and I can feel myself succumbing to the weaknesses and insecurities that I thought I had been rid of.

I thought I have it all sorted out and that finally I know exactly what I want in life. That picture on my mental screen, as clear as the day. Suddenly, I am wrecked with self-doubts and I am just not so sure of myself anymore. I have let many things slide, my discipline, my momentum and the whole positive attitude towards life. Choosing instead, to allow myself to sink into the doldrums of passivity.

I feel like my soul is crying out and seeking once again. There is so much I want to say but I find it hard to express myself. I want to bare my heart and soul but only my eyes can truly convey what I am feeling inside. Yet, at this moment, I feel like withdrawing from the rest of the world. Sometimes, there may be many people around me, but I still feel all alone.

My closest friends fade into the background and strangers come along and make a deep impression. They come and go, just like everything else because nothing is forever, transient at most. What is life really all about? I seek once more... I really want to live my life through the eyes of a child again.