Saturday, August 30, 2008

The week has gone by in a flash. Yet, it's another sleepless night for me as I mull over the restless thoughts that are keeping me awake. The old cynic in me has returned and I am feeling a renewed sense of detachment from everything and everyone. The journey I have chosen is a very lonely one and I feel more alone than ever. Though I have been unhappy about the way some things are done, it is not time to speak up yet.

The true colours of some people around me are more obvious than ever and they sure as hell aren't pretty. In an environment where people clambour over others to get ahead and conveniently shift responsibities to others, it is a struggle to suppress the strong desire to lash out at such characters. I must change my hotheaded mentality, lower my expectations of people and fight the battle in the most non-confrontational way posssible.

I no longer find comfort in the same places and tonight, I realized just how much I have misplaced my faith. Isn't it ironic that the ones who hurt us the most are the ones closest to our hearts? I am hardly surprised as it has always been common knowledge, that has sadly been proven time after time. The only one who truly knows how I feel is God and I pray His love will soothe the unhappiness in my soul.

Right now I just want to be left alone.

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