When will this ever end? We have already done the presentations as part of our 'sentence', but yet I am told we will have to present it again to another group of audience. My understanding is that we do it once and we are off the hook, but apparently that is not the case. What the fuck? We do it well, we have to do it again so that others can 'benefit' from it. Do a bad one, we have to re-do it because it is not satisfactory. From the looks of it, getting it over and done with does not apply here, because someone does not want it to be over.

The paradise I thought I would find here is slowly turning into hell. How can I trust twisted words with double meaning? I feel that we are being played and it is a game that we cannot win because truth is, we are at the mercy of this organization, the environment and the weather.

Everyday, I spend most of my time in the confines of my room staring at my computer screen, just waiting and fighting hard to keep my spirits up. At this moment, I cannot find any fulfillment in whatever I am doing but I hope it is only a matter of time. I cannot even turn to my closest friends because they are busy leading their own lives. Besides, I do not want to put a dampener on their moods, talking about things they won't be able to fully understand.

The stolen moments are not good enough. So near, yet so distant. I don't get to spend quality time with Viv freely anymore and yet, I do not have the freedom of doing whatever I please because of obvious considerations.

I feel sick in the stomach.