Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Me again in my usual state of reverie, left alone in my room with just my private musings for company. As I deliberate upon my thoughts, I am immersed in music that resonates with my soul and I am relishing the sanctuary that is my mind.

Of late, I have been having many heart-baring conversations with the Lord. Truth is, I have been feeling an unease that bothers me to no end and I know that I will need to restore the harmonious balance in me. Each day was the same when I woke up and I continued to pour my heart out to God, while struggling hard not to sink into further depression.

Then, one day I woke up. Gone is the melancholic stupor I have sunk myself in and in its place, a peace that transcends all understanding, diffused into every fibre of my being. The Lord has given me the wisdom to see the light and the fear and the weariness that has bogged me down has now dissipated.

It feels good and I feel ready to take on the challenges that will be coming my way.

It is taking me a long time to write this entry as my thoughts are fragmented due to the fact that I am doing a few things at once. Earlier on, I spent some time looking through many pictures which I have forgotten about. Photographs of my travels and me in my 'glory' days and then, the more recent ones, heh. I chanced upon some old pictures of me when I was a Singapore Girl and it brought back many memories and I re-lived them once more, for only a brief moment.

Since I am in the mood for reminiscing, I decided to read my old blog entries from the day I started and I could not stop... I have re-discovered a treasure trove of all my thoughts, feelings, experiences, growth and changes that marked my journey from 2004 til the present. The last 5 years of my life has been documented digitally into an online diary and it blows my mind when I read all the entries which reveal a story about me, personal, yet elusive.

All that has got me pondering... but I will leave that for another entry in the near future.

Yesterday, my younger brother's gesture of quiet support and encouragement touched me deeply. He knows how much this dream means to me and it was his way of contributing. When I finally make it, I want to make a difference in the lives of people around me, in all ways big and small, starting from my family and the friends close to me.

Moving on, I turned 26 a few days ago. I have a very strong feeling that this will be a magical year for me, the golden age where my dreams will be realized and everything will fall nicely into place. There is so much to look forward to and I eagerly anticipate what is to come.

=)

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