Well-meaning advice or one based on sheer prejudice? The lined is totally blurred sometimes. I would definately say something if I feel that a person was being maligned unfairly, so I had to say something... I gave a long lecture to someone close to me on not being judgemental and forming silly conclusions based on irrelevant incidents.

I am glad I got through to her coz it means a lot to me that she sees my point, she came round and said she was sorry. She can be so biased but I know that's because she wants what's best for me.

I love my friends to death, they make it all better.:)

A few people and I have always asked ourselves this question, 'Is it so hard to be happy?'

Yes it is. Take knowing what you want out of life for instance. For a period of time, I felt invincible and radiated happiness and positivity. Then you realize knowing what you want is simply not good enough.

You overlook the fact that it's a struggle just to get what you really want. You start to question yourself, will getting it give you true happiness? Or will it lead to even more crossroads of uncertainty? And the irony is, the more you want something with all your heart, the more it eludes you and the worse you feel. When does it ever stop? Does that mean we should settle for second best? I guess I will never know...

My only comfort right now is all the people I have in my life and taking on the arduous task of making the best out of the present moment.

Just fuck it. Screw everything. Let my heart be numbed. Let my heart be still. Let all my doubts and uncertainties be silenced. And let me retreat into the private recesses of my mind... until I am ready to come out of my sanctuary.

Two words, freaky coicidence. The way I find out about things these days is almost uncanny. And the weirdest part? Someone tells me about something and I listen. Since, I don't think it is any of my business to find out more than what that person is willing to reveal, I leave it at that. Yet, the information literally comes to me from various sources and when you put two and two together, you have the whole big fucking picture.

That god damn picture makes up a piece of an even bigger, more important picture. In retrospect, it is not a bad thing, at least you know what to expect out of the present situation and react with just the right dose of caution. But knowing too much can be more of a bane, than a blessing... Especially if you do not like knowing what you know.

Knowledge is a double-edged sword, it can be a revelation or a curse...

For the past few days, I have had to battle the ever persistent emotional struggle within me. I never knew pain existed in so many forms. Patience has never been one of my strengths but now, I am forced to wait for something that still remains elusive at the moment. The only thing I have now is hope.

I can only hope, but it is good enough for now...

No time to blog. Experiencing a tangled web of mixed feelings again... Off to Abu Dhabi for another 6 days. So if you don't see me online, you know where I am. Take care everyone.

This is going to be a rather erratic entry as I am just gonna squeeze in a quick update and it doesn't help I need to take a shit soon. wahahhahahahah!

I am still little hungover in the exhausted kinda way but I had a lovely time yesterday! I planned all my appointments back to back from 10am to 11pm. I met up with an ex-classmate from poly and then met the gals, Judy and Juli! OMG! it has been too long and I missed them so so much!

I was supposed to meet another friend for drinks but I was too tired and had to give it a miss... Still feel very bad about it coz he is a friend I have not met for a very long time as well.:(

More on my trip, I made a new friend that I definately intend to keep in touch with. Her company made the entire trip totally awesome. It was all about partying, shopping, hanging out, meaningful conversations and singing karaoke in Hong Kong. It's amazing how we connected on the same level... that is just totally rare:)

Btw... the extensions are a bloody waste of money. Fuck man, it was so difficult to do my hair for work. At least I satisfied the itch of wanting to do extensions for years. Never again, I tell you. I freaking pulled them out one by one when I was in San Francisco and kept them and lost some hair in the process. BLOODY HELL!

My hair grows fast, my bangs look decent now and I feel silly. Oh well... another long day ahead today.

Got to go!

Back from Hong Kong/San Francisco. I am absolutely exhausted. Will blog more when I have the time. Goodnight!

I will never fuck around with my hair again. Next time, I'll just pay to have my hair trimmed. No more trying to be an itchy smartass and DIY. If you have just paid $180 for hair extensions, you'd definately agree that is a wiser thing to do.

Yep, it was THAT bad.

And I don't have the patience to wait for my fringe to grow to an acceptable length. I have had enough of gelling and pinning up my fringe!

It was a very expensive rectification process. Lesson learnt. Nabei lah, I have done it once again.

I received a text message last night. The words wrenched my heart and the fleeting pain that I felt was quite raw. Now, I am confused despite myself.

I am suddenly shaken. My friend says she does not understand how I can give up something everyone wants. The words haunt me somehow...

I was able to detach myself emotionally again today on another seperate issue. I remain a mystery to some people because I don't always reveal my true emotions.

What am I to do now? I really, really wonder.

I must have been possessed because I did something very silly today. My fringe was getting into my eyes so I took a pair of scissors, pulled my fringe down and literally sawed away at my hair.

Then I let go of the fringe and it sprang up to 2cm above my eyebrows.

Bloody hell. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now look like the cartoon-equivalent of the blackcurrent in the Ribena advertisements. I have done it again.

Oh well, it will look ok in 2 weeks for so. I'll just pin and gel my hair up in the meantime. Hehe;p

It was nice to be in Brisbane on an Easter Monday. It is funny how I establish close friendships with ppl from my school only after we have graduated. Met up with my ex-classmate from poly and we had so much to talk about, even though we were not close back in school. I really had a great time talking to her and it was so nice to see her after so long.:)

We talked about the past a lot. I allowed myself to look back and laughed. I am not going into details but it is a personal triumph for me now. Having learnt the art of emotional detachment, I lead a much happier life when I am able to choose to weed out what I do not want to affect me.

Gonna end my entry abruptly. I am too tired to contemplate about issues.

I had nearly 4 days off and yet again, I have pushed myself to the brink of exhaustion. It has been very fulfilling though as I managed to spend time with some of my favourite people. They have really made my smiles wider and I am thankful to have them in my life.:)

Nicky and Miko went for grooming yesterday. Miko is fucking hilarious! She came back with a sullen look on her face and refused to look at or respond to anyone hahaha:) Her fur was all shaved off except for her tail hehe:) Nicky, on the other hand, came back, a vision of glorious beauty. Glossy black fur and white ruff neatly trimmed. He was bright-eyed and happy. :)

I'm off to Brisbane in a bit, but before I do, I'll go for a run first. Will be back in 3 days! Til then.