Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A few people and I have always asked ourselves this question, 'Is it so hard to be happy?'

Yes it is. Take knowing what you want out of life for instance. For a period of time, I felt invincible and radiated happiness and positivity. Then you realize knowing what you want is simply not good enough.

You overlook the fact that it's a struggle just to get what you really want. You start to question yourself, will getting it give you true happiness? Or will it lead to even more crossroads of uncertainty? And the irony is, the more you want something with all your heart, the more it eludes you and the worse you feel. When does it ever stop? Does that mean we should settle for second best? I guess I will never know...

My only comfort right now is all the people I have in my life and taking on the arduous task of making the best out of the present moment.

Just fuck it. Screw everything. Let my heart be numbed. Let my heart be still. Let all my doubts and uncertainties be silenced. And let me retreat into the private recesses of my mind... until I am ready to come out of my sanctuary.

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