Is it just me or...?

I've been thinking about a random incident this afternoon... My father saw me getting ready to go out for my piano lesson and asked me if I'm gonna pass any shops... Being rather moody, I answered him in a very curt manner and immediately regretted it so I softened my tone... all he wanted was for me to buy him a packet of ciggies... Last night, I was on my way back home after a flight when my mom called to ask where I was, I think I was quite rude too her as well coz I was so tired... but then I remembered she did not know what time I'll be coming back coz I was called up for this flight and that she was just concerned about me...

Which brings to mind... How often are we guilty of letting the people who care the most about us bear the brunt of our displeasure? And that we put on a smile and be nice to people who don't deserve it even though all you feel like doing is slapping them? Is it just me or are most people like that as well? That's something really bad that I don't like about myself and I'm gonna make a conscious effort to change it. I guess the closer people are to us, the more we take them for granted and that's really sad... I think I must have hurt my mom and dad when I spoke to them like that... I really don't mean to and I'm ashamed of myself:( The one who suffers the most from my mood swings is my darling... I swear he has the patience of a saint, putting up with all my shit... when he doesn't have to. He's always asking me, "Where can you find a boyfriend like me?" And I'd always reply him jokingly... "Everywhere." Truth is... I don't think I can and I'm really lucky to have him.

Having said all this, I find myself being nicer to friends and colleagues... Some of them piss the living daylights outta me and yet I still find myself being patient and accomodating towards them... It's like what the hell?!? I think I'm killing my soul by doing that... Fuck man... I do feel I need to get my priorities right. Of course I do treasure those friends who really know me:) I'm referring to friends as in mere acquaintances... Some of them speak without their words going through their pea brains, esp. the guys... No offence but maybe it has to do with the maturity level perhaps?? I value quality relationships with people over quantity. Cherish those who matter and weed out those who don't... That's all for now. See ya peeps!