Everyone, I am totally floored. Fuck, even that is an understatement.



His name is JerryC. I am so absolutely captivated by this guy that I am at a loss for words. I can just watch his fingers working the guitar strings all day.

His talent is simply phenomenal. His heartfelt rock rendition of a classic like Cannon in D by Pachebel is in my opinion, nearly flawless. Every note he plays on the guitar reverberates emotion. The chord variations, key changes towards the end, everything... sheer musical genius. He took my breath away lah and he is just a kid. What an irony...

I also know people who are just as musically talented as him. Surpasses my normal talent anytime. Life is not that fair afterall eh?

Anyhoo, I think I am in love. *swoon*

I have always been fascinated with animals ever since I was a little girl. I remember being enchanted by the Walt Disney classics such as The Lion King and Bambi so much that I could watch them over and over again and not ever get tired of it. I loved imagining myself in a small clearing and being surrounded by deers and all sorts of animals which coexist happily with one another.

On Friday, when I was in Perth, that childhood dream of mine came alive when we visited one of the wildlife parks! Oh my God, I was in absolute heaven when a motley collection of animals swarmed over to the 7 of us! And by that, I am talking about a seriously weird assortment of animals. There were lambs, sheep, the odd ram, deers (yes deers!!! OMG!!! There was even a stag mind you!), wallabies, emus, ostriches, geese, black swans and even an agressive turkey, just to name a few.

I was pleasantly surprised that they were all cohabiting good-naturedly together and extremely tame. The animals were all greedily eyeing the small bucket of dried food pellets that we had. I couldn't help smiling as I was feeding them and petting them at the same time, amused their antics.

I felt like an innocent child all over again... with no troubles in this world. I could have stayed there forever if the sun wasn't beating down so heavily. Of course, the main attraction was the koala bears but I really didn't care much for them. They are asleep 75% of the time and just not all that cute to me... ;p

The group of us then drove down to Leighton beach where we chilled at the beach and watched one of the guys kite-surf. Very impressive I must say... and it seemed to me a whole lot of dangerous fun. I even got to control the kite for awhile just for the experience, which I suspect, will probably be the only one in this lifetime heh;p

It was all so surreal... the cloudless blue sky merging seamlessly with the endless expanse of the turqoise sea. The sunset which turned the sky into myriad shades of purple was breath-taking to say the least. The night view from King's Park on the first night there also brought about a tranquility that transcended all the turbulent thoughts and emotions raging their war inside my head.

I relished in it all... The long drives, great company, conversations, not to mention the great food!:) I ate more than I should lah... Death by Chocolate, an apt name for a cake that made me feel like I have died and gone to heaven! It was a cake so rich, drenched with hot fudge and a scoop of ice-cream, that it was a sin just to look at it lol;p One mouthful of it was enough to send a wave of ecstasy through my being. I had that cake 2 nights in a row... :)

In my all my 2 years of flying, I have never had this much fun! I thoroughly enjoyed myself in Perth, all thanks to my friend and the good company I was with. Their hospitality was unrivaled and I am forever grateful for that. The gals that came with definately enjoyed themselves just as much:)

I didn't want it all to end but it did. Back to reality... But at least I'll have beautiful memories to keep for life.

:)

There is nothing quite like a good dose of heavy-duty cough syrup to send you right to bed. Today is a better day although I'm feeling drowsy from all that medication.

I don't want to talk about how I feel anymore. Not at this moment anyway. I am just going retreat into the innermost crevices of my being and fuck it, just let things be. I will have stop having expectations of people because unknowingly, some of them have let me down in more ways than one.

[*Jude: If you're reading this entry babe, I don't mean you;) In case you're wondering...]

I'll just fuck it and forgive them for it anyway since they have no clue and it is not fair for me to be unhappy with them... But when I am in a more generous and understanding mood that is. Right now, I am feeling very unreasonable. So there. Hah.

Nabei lah. Men... they just don't get it. Piss me off one by one.

Anyhoo, I am really looking forward to my trip to Perth tonight:) I have a good feeling about it. I hope I am right.

A day rife with rollercoaster emotions, productive but draining. The monthly blues, 2 weeks prior to that time of the month has made its presence known again. The day went smoothly but I was in a fucking foul mood which I didn't show. I kept it all in.

I'm feeling the discomfort of the monthly symptoms and I'm sick. It is tough shit, to keep it all together. It is fucking tough to be in control when sometimes it is just easier to be wild and let go.

I've been keeping my time occupied and spending my time with various friends for the past two days since I got back from London. Yet, I feel all alone.

Makes sense?

Delirious now... gotta sleep.

Anyone fancy a scrotum pouch? It is an interesting gift for an unsuspecting friend and it is even said to bring good luck.



This versatile pouch can be used to store loose change and if it's big enough, a golf ball. It even comes with a pen and guess what? It only costs a cool US$17 bucks for the smallest one.

I have a friend who is so crazy over them that he ordered 5!!! I wonder what he needs that many for...hehehe;p

I truly feel sorry for the poor kangaroos... It is a nasty fate for those nice, docile animals. Don't wanna think about it.

Will blog more later.

Where do I start? I am spent although I do not feel it, yet. I seem to be running on the false illusion that I can handle the 'madness' in my life, whether welcome or not. A gazillion things are zipping through my mind at this very moment. Thoughts that seem impossible to grasp and would fleet away as soon as you try to focus on them.

So here I am, staring at the screen and trying to gather my thoughts, while getting bombarded by messages on MSN... I just know that have some feelings that I need to get off my chest before I fly off tonight.

Well-meaning people tell me not to think too much, but I do not always heed their advice. I prefer to confront my thoughts and come to a conclusion, rather then to sweep it all under the rug and pretend to be blissfully oblivious... But of course, there are also some instances where things will sort itself out, that's only when I don't come up with the answers. Anyhow. Of late, the recent events in my life have got me thinking a lot more than usual.

One night, I was chatting with a guy friend, whom I have known for a very long time, over MSN:

Me: "What do you look for in a g/f?"

Him: "She must be pretty, sexy and good in bed."

Me: "Don't her other qualities matter at all?"

Him: "Of course they do, but physical looks are my priority, the rest are secondary."

Well I don't know, but I felt a tinge of sadness. I am not going to elaborate, but some of my friends would know why.

Moving on... I got a sms on my phone from an annonymous sender the night before. The message was basically meant to slander someone, whom I happen to know briefly. At the end of the message,i was encouraged to forward it. Now what the fuck? Honestly, such shit is lame. It is not only bloody immature, but it goes to show how vindictive and undignified a person can be. It has 'sore loser' written all over...

I am not siding anyone, I just feel it takes two hands to clap. If two people want to have that kind of fun, fine, but they should already have a mutual understanding what is to be expected and what they are getting themselves into. Reality check. There is no 'happily ever after' scenario.

Sure, the fucker will get what he deserves. But it is not up to you to try and take matters into your hands and punish him. He will be punished at his own time. What bothers me is that in being the victim, why do that and end looking like a damned fool in the process? People may feel sorry for you and even for him. But they sure as hell wouldn't respect you.

Just deal with it on your own and move on, really... Learn from it.

I absolutely believe in not getting yourself into situations when you can't handle the consequences that comes with it.

Sigh... feeling that emptiness again today. I will be patient and I will hold out for the best. Pardon my French, but I am not gonna fuck myself over. I only have one life and I will live it well. This is a promise to myself.

Will miss you all. Catch some of you when I get back!

I felt that slight tremor of uncertainty today. There is that nagging sense of emptiness... the missing vital ingredient in my life that will make me feel complete.

I do not wear my heart on my sleeve, nor do I let just anyone come in and try to take that special place in the deep recesses of my heart. Because once I give my heart to someone, I'll love him without abandon. I will be vulnerable and if he ever hurts me, it will consume me.

Ah wtf... :D Love is a good thing, i love loving. I love all the special people in my life. That glow of love in a person's face makes one beautiful... so much more than one with a cynical heart. So I will love anyway, with an unbridled heart.

:)

Tonight's my virgin flight to Adelaide. Gonna get some rest now...

Nabei. My attempt at cooking myself a broccoli omelette today failed miserably. It looks more like a pathetic veggie scramble. Don't ask me to cook, coz I can't. I really suck at it. At best, it is just edible. And fuck, I still have a ton of dishes to do... which I absolutely hate.

Moving on, met up with Zhenzhu in town yesterday, just doing the usual girlie stuff... shopping, dinner, the works. It's been quite awhile since I have had such girlie activities, so it's a refreshing change. My night ended with me meeting up with Huiling and going for that much-needed run.

Sigh.

So things are going just great, I'm happy enough but somehow, it is just not complete, yet. Still, I can't complain, can I? Silly me...

I have to be patient. The best things come to those who wait.

My life has just taken an interesting spin. Despite myself, I am curious. That usually spells trouble... Not if I can help it.

Gonna blog tomorrow instead, I'm so fucking tired that I'm practically meditating at my keyboard now.

Sweet dreams.

I am a sucker for online personality quzzes, especially those by Tickle, some of which are PHD certified.

An interesting thing to note, when I re-do some of the quizzes again, I get a different result from say, 2 to 3 years ago. I suppose I am really changing as a person, but I welcome the changes. It's a sure sign that I am getting more comfortable with myself as I get older.

Still, some things remain the same. My love for reading, music, animals and sports... as well as my insatiable appetiate for knowledge and learning.

I have yet to key in my roster and send it out. I'll do it tomorrow.