My life is thrown out of its delicate balance once again. Thoughts clouded by uncertainties and the constant niggling feeling that something does not feel right.

My gut feel has been honed to a certain degree of accuracy these days. I do not know what I know but I just know... The last thing I want to do is to deal with complicated.

If only it could be that simple but I cannot find the words to express the complexity of my feelings. I cannot talk to the people I used to be able to talk to and at this time, I have never felt more alone in my life. Sometimes I wish I can be swept away and just disappear. Yet, I have not forgotten my blessings in the form of my cousin and some friends, that helps to keep me grounded.

This morning, I felt that my prayers were answered. I received some news I have been waiting a long time for, with a twist that may require a different plan of action. More waiting, more uncertainty and God knows what else.

I feel like I am drowning.