I am pretty happy with my performance for yesterday's sortie. IFR is still something that is pretty new to me, but I love the procedures, RT calls and even the airwork, just simply, the 'structure' of it all. There is still much to learn and improve on of course, but I since I had a good start, I have a strong feeling things are going to go well. I also enjoyed the night circuits which I did, despite my initial hesitation on having to choose a runway that I was not familiar with. That turned out alright and I had good fun. Overall, it was a very fulfilling day for me and I hope that it will remain that way for the rest of my stay here.

I admit have been feeling a bit emo over the past few days and it is not something I want to talk about. The onset of the PMS symptoms does not help as it just makes these feelings more pronounced. I just feel very lonely, even though I am surrounded by people whom I can talk to. There are many things I keep to myself as there is no one here that I can connect with on a deeper level. Everything is just on a superficial level and people come and go, a lot of my good friends have already gone home. Half the college is now made up of cadets whose names I do not even know. The longer I stay here, the more I feel detached. Things are actually good for me, but at this moment, I just want to finish my training and get the fuck out of here. There is no real motivation for me to want to go back, just my family, dogs and my friends back home.

Today, I woke up with a heavy heart again and I talked to God for half an hour and now I feel a lot more comforted. I told myself, no more of this self-pity bullshit and I must not lose sight of the fact that I am better than the way I let myself feel.