Where do we find a soul mate? Or does such a thing really exist? Somehow I feel it's just impossible to find someone that totally understands... someone who'll really be there all the way... Let's just face it, most of us would want to be around people who are happy all the time. Period. Yeah, I do have friends who'll be there for me when I'm feeling lousy (which is quite often), but I can't expect them to be there for me all the time, can I? It's not fair to drag them down with me and they've all got their own lives to live...
I just came back from Brisbane, and one of complex leaders I was working with commented that I'm really cheerful and that I'm always smiling. I just told him, I may seem happy all the time but I'm not. I'm human. I can't be happy all the time, I do have my moods. There're days where I feel so totally shitty... but I force myself to be cheery and oh-so-happy for the benefit of people around me... at least they'll feel better being around someone who is seemingly happy all the time... This is not the first time I've heard these kinda comments from people... I suppose it's a good thing... but few people realize how unhappy I can really be, how drained I really am... Maybe I'm emotionally drained, it's an effort to be happy around people all the time... But when I'm around people, I'm happy coz I make the effort to be happy. Sounds contradicting doesn't it? haha:) I guess I am just someone who needs people around me... Like I mentioned earlier, people don't have to take shit from me just because I'm in one of my moods, they shouldn't have to... I know how awful it can be when people take out their frustrations on you... Can't blame them but that shouldn't be the case, ain't it?
Anyway, i think i think too much... How I wish i can surround myself in a little bubble, just me and my own little world where no one can hurt me... But it ain't happening coz I'm too in-tuned with my surroundings. Bummer...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment