Been in a thinking mood of late... more of reflecting on the past and how I can make improvments in my life. There are things that I have done that I have regretted... Although I have moved on somewhat, it doesn't mean that the past will not come back and haunt me on the days that I feel really down. Someone once told me that it is better to go ahead and do something than to regret not doing it at all. I used to agree but now I think it's crap. I mean if you know you are gonna regret doing something... why do it in the first place right? There is nothing worse than regret coz it causes guilt and it eats away at your soul. I guess true happiness can only be obtained if you are at peace with yourself... guess that explains why I am often unhappy most of the time eh? I think it makes sense.
I realized that I have changed a lot over the months. I'm not too sure what brought about the changes but I can feel them creeping into my life slowly and surely. It seems that I am now very concerned about how my actions will affect the people that I care about. Previously, all I thought about was to have fun. My heart is sinking even as I am typing this... but I guess instead of moping around and feeling sorry for myself, I am determined to be a better person. That involves weeding out the negative people and influences in my life and I WILL NOT repeat all the mistakes I have made in the past. There I've said it and I say it with utmost conviction. May I be at peace with myself now.:)
Finally going back to work after almost 2 weeks, I kid you not man... I was on standby from 8/11 to 18/11 and I was not called up for a single flight... talk about luck hehehe;p Yep! I guess my enthusiasm and positivity is waning but as usual I'll continue to do my best. Destination this time? Sydney, team flight. My buddy was taken off the flight coz she got called up for Auckland while on standby... So sad!!! :( I have not flown with her in like 2 months...
On a lighter note, I should be thankful I have people who really care about me, it's what keeps me going. You know who you all are, I'll treasure all of you always!! *hugz abd kisses* And especially to my baby, thank you for putting up with all my shit for the past 2 years and 2 months, you make my life complete... I love you so so much:) (Anyone who's reading this, please do not cringe)
Alrightie then, gotta go psyched myself up for work later on tonight. Whoopee! Go go go! Hahahha:) Later then.
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hi van,
its been quite awhile. i was pointed here by some of my friends. you'll be surprised how many of the stewardesses are my friends. anyway, i hope you are doing well. you sound like you are not exactly happy. just remember that what went on in the past, is in the past. there is nothing you can do about it, so live your life in the best way possible. as long as you know what went wrong, and you don't repeat it again, everything will be fine :)
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