Things just got unexpectedly worse... more than what I was prepared to handle. But somewhere, deep within me, I found calm I never knew I had. There seemed to be an invisible force guiding me and somehow, I realized I had already anticipated what I should do.

When shit happens, just rise to the occasion and fucking deal with it.

Whatever happened tonight jolted me out of the melancholy that has been hounding me for the past week. There is simply no room for any emo shit and in its place, a steely calm and renewed strength takes residence. I have been distracted for too long, bound by obligations and blinded by false hopes. I am setting my priorities right this time. Hopefully by doing so, I would regain some semblance of that organized chaos I seem to thrive in.

You know, it is really uncanny how I seem to ask questions that provide me with the answers that I need most. One such question popped into my mind when I was having tea with my brother.

Me: "When you are feeling down and you need a source of comfort, who is the person that
aways comes to mind?"

Bro: "My girlfriend." (I thought that was incredibly sweet by the way...)

Me: "Who would you turn to next?"

Bro: "You and mommy."

Me: "And after mommy and I?"

Bro: "Derek."

The few people that often come to mind in your dire times of distress are the rocks in your life, or your pillars of strength. They are the ones who are always constant, take the time to listen and at appropriate times, give valuable advice that you would actually heed. They are the people you can message or call at whim without being afraid you would be 'bothering them'. Most importantly, to me at least, you can share your deeper thoughts with them because they'd be able to relate and their company almost always make you feel better. And vice versa of course.

It is a healthy relationship that exists between you and those special people in your life. Those are the ones that you should make time for. They put the cheer back into your life and suddenly, the world seems brighter once again.

Sometimes, you simply do not have time for everyone, so choose who you spend your time with wisely.

Then I put my own life into perspective. I have many close friends but no one I can really consider my 'pillars of strength' because they are not constant. They just 'happen to be around' at different times, but still kind enough to lend a listening ear. I do not expect much, afterall, something is better than nothing, isn't it?

However, that is not enough to negate the hollow feeling I have come to recognize when it surfaces. One day, I will not have to feel that way anymore. All in good time I say...

A friend's wise words struck a chord. He said that God only gives us enough grace for one day and that when a new day begins, we get grace for that day again. I think it makes a lot of sense to live each day happily as it comes, because we do not know what happens tomorrow.

I speak to Him in prayer and I know I am not alone because God is with me.