Monday, June 30, 2008

Much of my time is spent on a deep conversation with myself and God. Many of my thoughts are fleeting, but every once in a while, I will mull over those that seem to be trying to tell me something.

I have come across nearly all types of people and there will always be that occasional handful that piss the shit out of me, people whom I simply cannot feel the love for. Why can't everyone be nice and get along with one another? Why are there vindictive people who take pleasure in talking shit and hurting others? Why are there such wicked and manipulative people? There are so many whys and the questions are never ending. I have always wondered why God allowed such hateful people to exist.

Then I came to a chapter in this book about leading a purpose driven life and I got my answer. If everyone is nice and kind to us, it easy to love them back and accord the same treatment in return. But God is the God of love and He wants us all to have enough grace to love and be kind to those whose hearts are tainted by malice and those who derive sadistic pleasure in hurting others. There are many lessons to be learnt here. A grudge is like a thorn in the heart and resentment and envy is like a fog that clouds one's vision. But forgiveness and love is like a light that radiates and lifts the spirit. Nabei, it is not easy but it is really not as difficult as I thought it would be. The person who bears the ill feelings is the one who is suffering anyway, not me. So yes, forgive I can do but I am still learning to feel the love. All in good time, no?

It is the things that I don't have much of that I really treasure. Material things are nice to have but not a need. I get bored easily. Being the major poot that I am, once I get something that I have been coveting, I just don't treasure it that much anymore. Isn't that so typical of human nature? Speaking of which, I have a ton of clothes, shoes, accessories and toiletries which I have to leave behind. I will be forced to survive on about 40kg worth of possessions.

Now that life is simplified, I do feel so much happier.

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