Stuck between a rock and a hard place, that is where I am at the moment and it is definitely not the most comfortable position to be in. The words 'comfort zone' is both strange and foreign to me and I cannot seem to recall the last time I was in that place.
These days, I can only find comfort in writing and in my heartfelt prayers to God, though it has become increasingly difficult for me to express my private thoughts and feelings. A private struggle ensues and I am teetering on the edge of exhaustion for reasons not many can comprehend.
I am blessed to have a lot of people who have been a constant support in my life, but even then, there is only so much they can understand.
Secretly, I am glad that I am not as alone as I feel, for I can turn to God who knows me best.
On a brighter note, some things are going according to plan and I am relieved to have caught that opportune moment yesterday. I had to step even further out of my already uncomfortable zone to make it happen but it is all quite positive. However, I was rebuked for disappearing from the scene and missing out on an opportunity because I was not active enough to catch the wave. All is not lost and from all the information I have managed to gather, I have an idea what is to come next. I need to secure this for myself and I can only see how everything will pan out a few months down the road and be ready.
A lot remains to be seen and I must hold out for what I want and stay true to my beliefs.
3 comments:
There's always more than a side to everything in life.
Those who care for you can only know and understand you as much as you'd let them. They can put in 101% effort to try and comprehend the inner turmoils you are going through and not even come close to getting a single clue if you've already shut the door to them.
Isn't that the same analogy they use in Christianity whereby God is knocking at your spiritual door but only you can choose whether to let God into your life?
Nonetheless, if it isn't productive to be pondering over certain issues that can't be resolved at the moment, maybe you should consider chucking it at the back of your head for now.
Cheers and have a great day ahead! =)
Yeah, I have opened up to a select few people, but I do shut the door on people who are simply curious about me or don't matter that much.
Still, I have to deal with these feelings on my own. What you say about the knocking of doors is very true, I am more than willing to open the doors if people who are concerned knock on them. Just that, there is one small problem. A lot of people think I am invincible and perfectly strong enough to handle everything on my own. Which is true by the way, I usually come through and set myself straight again, but sometimes I am just tired of being strong all the time, the unflappable one. Sometimes, I just want to be the little girl and find a safe haven to rest.
Yep, I know what I should and how I should be making light of the situation but I do backslide heh. I will sort it out and then dismiss them.
Thanks for your words of wisdom, sometimes I need to be continually reminded.
=)
My comments are far from "words of wisdom" but simply general remarks from a passerby's point of view.
It's a small world. Maybe someday you might be the one offering me advice as well. =)
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