Wednesday, May 21, 2008

My nose starting bleeding again... I have always wondered why it does not hurt. Digressing now, all I want now is good, sound sleep but I am unable to get it. A lot of things have been playing on my mind and I just cannot get it to be still. This is getting ridiculous. I actually wake up halfway through, only to realize that I have been solving problems subconsciously.

Now, I am starting to feel sleepy, but as soon as I lie down, my mind starts getting active again. I feel like I am trapped in some kind of living hell. I know I am being over dramatic but I really feel like shit.

Then, there is that feeling of detachment that robs me of any emotion. Why is this happening? My initial drive and enthusiasm has been replaced by lethargy and I trudge along doggedly, going through the motions in a zombified state. I am starting to find it hard to enjoy this journey. How I wish I can wake up to find that my goals have been realized.

Writing seems to be the only solace right now. The comfort zone beckons and it just seems oh so tempting now but I must not be lulled into a false sense of security. I pray I have enough fight in me to go on. If only Viv was with me now.

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