The wait is a very lonely one. There are people all around me but yet I still feel strangely alone. It is getting progressively harder for me to express these feelings because when I do, I always hear the same old politically correct advice and piece of shit 'words of widsom'. Things that I already know and am so sick of hearing. I refuse to sit here and feel sorry for myself, if I can change things, I definately would but that would be akin to walking on egg shells. Something has got to give, if the situation cannot change, my attitude has to.
It is not easy doing that in an environment that is ever so stifling. Right now, I just want to do my shit and get the fuck out of here. The longer I stay, the deeper I sink into the negativity. I have so much free time on my hands, yet I am not able to do anything productive with it except watch the minutes tick by. There is a desperate need to feel alive, to be inspired and motivated all over again.
I have got to be stronger than this because hell, I have too much time to mull over unnecessary issues that make me unhappy. I can only pray to the Lord every night to lift my melacholic spirit.